When To Let Love Go

Whitney Houston in Days Past

I never thought that I would see the day but it happened officially yesterday.

After fourteen years of wedded um er ah – “bliss”, Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston have called it quits. According to Whitney’s publicist they are legally separated which will lead to an October divorce.

We have all seen how Whitney has loved her man through jail stays, extramarital affairs, drug binges and just extreme craziness. The Whit has been a trooper and she has always been there for her man. I am sure that as she prepares to emerge and reclaim her superstar status, it is difficult to imagine life without Bobby.

Over and over again, you have seen her say that the love between her and Bobby was forever. She is right love is truly forever but you have to know when to say when.

This begs the question, when is the right time to let go?

In relationships it is pretty easy to think that love is the only thing that you need and everything else will just fall into place. But in reality sometimes we love so hard that we miss the fact that the love is destroying us.

I remember a time when I hung like four flat tires with a best friend. Frequent meals, trips and daily conversations made me know that this was truly my brother. As time progressed, I noticed that when he was in need I was always there but when I needed he was busy or nowhere to be found. Being a loyal friend, I chalked it up to conincidence. Then things started adding up and I had to distance myself from my boy. Now although, I love him – it was an unhealthy friendship and I had to back away. Interestingly enough when I backed away and revaluated my life, shortly things began to change. Opportunities presented themselves and I was able to reach higher heights and move beyond being stagnant. Although, I still care for my friend – I learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes people are placed in your life or you in theirs for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Once you discover the purpose or time, then you can truly be productive.

I can’t wait to see what Whitney comes up with. I am sure all of her joy, pain and hope will be put in her next CD. I know that right now she is hurt but she has started the healing process by shedding the old and embracing the possibilities of what is to come. We may have laughed at Whitney and wondered what she was thinking through some of her antics but I know God had a reason for allowing her to experience what she has been through.

There is no magic time to know when to let love go but one line in the movie love jones sums it all up for me. “When people say that they have fallen out of love, it’s not that they have but that they have exhausted all of the possibilities”.

Well here’s to NEVER exhausting ALL of the possibilities and knowing when to bow out with dignity. Here’s to real love. . . loving yourself first!