Contact vs. Connection: A Lesson Learned

I am not really sure that I knew the difference from a contact versus a connection but life finds the most interesting ways and places to teach you things. In true respect for this life, I listen.

In a recent conversation with a great friend he said something to me that was very key and it rang true for our friendship. He said, “you know when you meet people, there are contacts and connections. Through all of the people that were there when we met, WE connected”.

Let me explain our friendship. I met him at what was truly the start of my blogging career. I had just been introduced to blogging by my fraternity brother No4Real4Real before attending the American Black Film Festival held in Miami. I went to the festival to get some great blogging material and to participate in Bill Duke’s Actors Boot Camp with actors from all over the globe. I was there not to make friends but just to learn.

In the room during the workshop they were calling students to perform monologues so that Mr. Duke could critique them and we could all learn. Some future stars were there that day – Lamman Rucker, Lance Gross and even Wendell Pierce. They were calling the participants from a lottery and with so many ladies in the class there were no brothers that had been called to perform. Finally, after seeing several great performances by some stellar ladies – they called me. Of course the few guys around me whispered as I went to the stage, “come on man, for the fellas”! As if I needed more weight on my shoulders.

I stepped up, did my thing and when I came back to myself, I noticed that everyone was standing and clapping. “I” however was lost in the character. On the next break I met several other brothers and sisters (we were really close after that class) who congratulated me and talked about working together. In fact my friend from Chicago and I only spoke once, right then and it was for all of five minutes.

Then we went home. Back to our lives and trying to make it in the business.

One day the phone rang and it was my Chicago friend. He started out saying, “I’m not sure if you remembered me or not” but I of course I let him know that the workshop was a life changing moment that I could never forget. Our conversation started and when I looked up we had been on the phone for more than two hours.

Since then we have talked consistently. Not just about acting or the business but about life. Of course there are the requisite talks about upcoming auditions or new headshots but family, relationships and the evolution of our lives dominate the landscape of what we talk about. Now here is what is even stranger, since we met we have not seen each other physically. Either we are not in the city when we are near or something prevents it but we only have our phone conversations and the occasional email.

At the end of the day, we are friends. We are bound by nothing in particular yet bound nonetheless.

That day, even though it took us time to realize it, we connected. We connected on an ethereal level. Not wanting anything from one another. Not expecting anything in return. We were just two conscious beings greeting each other in consciousness. Truthfully in pure LOVE!

Lesson learned! I can see the difference between a contact and a connection. I am happy to have learned the way I did.
Now in the words of the infamous MaDea, “Peoples are in yo life for a reason a season or a lifetime. YOU gotta figure out which one. Don’t go trying to keep them seasonal people ‘round ALL your life or you’ll mess up everytime”.

Ain’t that the wisdom of the ages! Now that’s one I’d like to learn without all the hard homework!