Irreplaceable

Not a lot on the horizon here, just got to gripe a bit. I am still in the Northeast and it seems like it is going to snow here every day. I mean I just look out the window and it snows. It helps that I am in a high rise and I can enjoy it from there but driving in it is an entirely different story.

In fact I am still learning walking in the snow. I have pretty much mastered that task until yesterday. I was walking to my car and came upon some black ice. You know I almost busted my behind but I was super quick caught it and kept going. It’s all good though.

Oh yea, pet peeve with Philadelphia. I am a real purist, so if something is a rose – call it a rose. Why does every one here call it Philadelphia - Philly? I personally like the name Philadelphia sometimes when calling it Philly I feel that it disrespects the name and its meaning. Well enough about that. I will have to vent on my feelings about some of the people here later.

Nevertheless, check out this recent poem or spoken word joint I wrote. I thought about calling it Beyonce’ but for now it is known as Irreplaceable – A True Love Tale. Let me know what you think.


IRREPLACEABLE
You called me today
Saying your usual things acting your usual way and you said, “I love you”

Should have known when I heard the words that they were loaded.
Real.
But loaded nonetheless.

Loaded with emotions of caring and loving and feeling and not knowing quite where these emotions belong – we proceeded.
I was in a special moment when you called me today.
Seeing your number flash across my caller ID – took me to time that we had shared before. I remembered those moments. For then our ecstasy transcended four lifetimes!

I mean the thought of you and what you said was so real I had to call my ex.
The first and true love my life,
Had to tell her,
Had to let her know,
Had to warn her – watch your back!
There was another out there
Another who could surpass her emotion another who could spin feelings out of nothing.
See only she could understand how I feel right now.
Our relationship allowed it, and I took advantage of the privilege. You walked it out, I talked it out

The rest of our conversation was a blur,
I mean really we weren’t together, never made a commitment – but for me it was unspoken love you knew how I felt and I was all about letting it be.
What ever I could do to be there for and with you, I was down
Regardless of the circumstance, you knew I had ya back
Now the question is, will you take advantage of that?

So after a few moments of conversation, finally the words tumbled forth, “So if I messed with someone else, would you be mad?”
I know I am always on the road and I am not always there – but in the end I’m always THERE
I mean what could I say to that, you have to be the arbiter of your actions.
I can’t make you do more or less than you want to do.
So after a moment . . . . . .
after the smoke cleared and the pre-tears returned to the deep part of my tear ducts.
After my heart jumped and dropped and skipped and I caught my breath,
after I checked myself to see what was wrong with me
After I considered being “regular” and just hanging around just to be with you
After wondering if I flew there right now to look you in your eyes would things be a little different
After I reassured myself that I was ok.
After I thought about putting in a little extra time at the gym so I could get just a little bit tighter
After all that – I said simply NO.
I let you know that I thought that we were deeper than that and that regardless of what happens with us I am there for you.
But I can not play second chair
I have to be the me that I am and love you from afar,
it’ll hurt me to see you with him
Still I’ll love you, though you’ll grow to see that truly me
Well, I am irreplaceable.