The Me That I Am

KNOW YOUR LANE

2012-02-07T17:15:00.003-05:00

You know, Madame O (Oprah Winfrey) gave some great advice when she said, in an interview with Piers Morgan, “I know my lane”. Piers’ question was about running for President but what she said can easily be applied to life.

A rule of thumb for the way I live my life, has been embracing who you are right NOW and experiencing this moment to its fullest. One thing I know for sure is that when you try to deviate from the present moment awareness is when we experience “dis-ease”. It’s like trying to put the square peg in the round hole. It just won’t work and even if you can get it in, it never fits quite right and it hurts like hell going through the process.what she said can easily be applied to life.

I guess one of the recent things that I have discovered is that if someone knows what lane they occupy and they function well there – quite often it’s not for us to try and move them to the lane that we are in or where we think that they should be.

The epiphany came when I was recently traveling in Miami on I-95. While I was driving, it was

my decision to get into the HOV lane, pay an additional toll and move a bit faster than the other traffic. It hit me! 1) Not everybody is equipped to drive in the HOV lane and 2) some people are content going with the flow of traffic around them! Who would have thought that a drive would give me that much insight into life?

As I drove further, I thought about the exit that I would take. I was headed to Miami Beach en route to a Villa. On the way, I stopped at a store in Liberty City.

Now for those that know the Miami area ---Liberty City is the hood. I love my people and the hood will always be a part of me and my experience but I had a knowing that I would go farther. There are still some people that will get off of the expressway [of life] and be content staying right there [in Liberty City]. Even though, they know full well that only 10 miles or so away are some of the best beaches, most amazing restaurants and luxurious pads in the world. What’s even more important is that you can’t fault folk for knowing their lane and maximizing what’s there.

When you truly know your lane, you can make great decisions about where you are going and where you need to be.

I will always keep in my mind the directions to MY Liberty City because I know that the food is good, the people are real and there is always a lesson in the trip. Nevertheless, I know that my radar points toward Buckingham Palace and the United Nations and even the White House!

Yes, I know my direction and I have no problem switching lanes. How about you?

Random

2011-12-30T15:47:00.000-05:00

So I am having a moment today and I think that I just realized that I don’t know “how” to be in a relationship! Can you believe that it took me 35 years to figure that out? I suppose there is not specific rhyme or reason as to how it works. Indeed that is the beauty of being with someone. Though, I am never one to say that things are fineto, I recently told a friend that I’m taking a break. Let’s see how that goes!

SPRING CLEANING

2011-03-24T18:06:00.001-04:00

Lesson: My External Circumstances, Reflect My Internal Condition

Last night during a period of meditation, it struck me why things weren't going as I thought that they should. It was less about my circumstances and more about my condition.

You see over the winter months, I had allowed my office and bedroom to develop clutter. I thought because I had organized the "stuff" into piles that things were fine. In the end, it was the stuff that was the cause of problems. There were clothes that I hadn't worn in years, files I hadn't used in months and cords that went to who knows what electronic device of the day. And that was just the physical stuff, mentally there were remnants of past relationships that were in the "bin" waiting to be discarded but never went anywhere.

Regardless if I held on to these things or not, none of the things (or people) that were destined to come into my life could because there was too much other "stuff" in the way! Indeed I was blocking my blessings.

I spent the day mentally clearing out all of those places that were dark and cluttered with stuff. I re-gathered all of the hurts, heart aches and disappointments for one final trip. As I went through the sorting process, I made sure that I didn't look at those experiences as bad or negative but tried to learn a lesson from each one! As I cleaned mentally, I cleaned physically as well. I discarded all of the clothes, old cell phones, magazines, papers and anything that took up space and had no value. I even reassessed some things that I thought valuable and learned there was really no value there at all.

After that exercise, I feel lighter, better and more in-tune with my environment. I can truly say that I am ready mentally and physically for the things and people that the universe has in store for me. What a difference just a day and a little cleaning can make in your life.

Indeed I Am Crying . . . .

2010-12-07T00:06:00.002-05:00

Just for a moment there was a tear on my cheek and I had no idea why. . . .

Indeed I was crying.

Crying for unintended consequence and the time to recompense.

Indeed I was crying. . . .

Iyanlya said a good cry with a purpose was all I needed but instead of an agenda – I just needed my space.

I just needed to release the pain of pleasure and feel the lack of knowledge that made me into the man that I was.

Searching and never finding.

Feeling and never knowing.

Being and never embracing. Indeed at this moment I was crying.

In the depth of my thought, I could see the place to heal my soul and dry the well that gushed.

Yet seeing and obtaining are two different things.

I cry because you hurt.

I cry because I love.

I cry because we are destined to try . . .

Just for a moment there was a tear on my cheek and I had no idea why . . .

Indeed I was crying.

Trapped in Love (Seat 6B)

2010-11-27T09:50:00.001-05:00

I travel quite often and my two favorite airlines know my penchant for having aisle seats. Maybe it’s because I try to drink a gallon of water a day and want quick access to the facilities. Or maybe it’s because I just don’t want to disturb anyone if I feel like getting up. At the end of the day, the main reason is that I just don’t want to feel trapped.

I guess the same holds true with relationships.

Why do comfortable relationships with attachments make us run? I suppose that it is the feeling of being trapped. Maybe that’s why it seems like there are more open relationships and less firm commitments these days. People want to be able to exit quickly. I guess, I am under the perception that if we are in this together then we are in this together. Meaning quite simply – I’ve you got your back and you’ve got mine.

I guess as I sit in 6B and travel home, I too have an exit strategy for getting to the restroom and as it would appear for getting out of relationships. You know as I think about it – when I have had to take a window seat there is a really great view and someplace to rest my head! Relationships too offer hidden comforts but most of us choose to look at the drawbacks.

As the journey continues so do the lessons. Perhaps as time progresses, I will take a window seat without being forced. Then, just maybe the journey will be the start of an event stronger foundation.

Text-ed: Is That Really A Word?

2009-02-26T21:23:00.002-05:00

So I am sitting on a plane the other day and I hear someone in conversation with a friend.

“Girl, I texted him and he didn’t even text me back”, she said.

As she spoke my hair stood on end. Did she really mean that? Of course not, I thought. I dismissed it.

A few days later a popular show came on TV and the character said that he “texted” someone. Again, I am thinking – “how did this get though network censors”?

Again, in conversation someone said, “I texted you that number the other day”. By this time I was out done. I knew that I had taught English before and from everything that I had learned as a teacher ‘texted’ was not a word. Of course I did the requisite research on-line and there in the Urban Dictionary the word ‘texted’ what right in front of me. Then again this was the Urban Dictionary so did that really make it a reliable source?

It’s just in all that had learned over the years – I was really over hearing the words ‘texted’ or ‘texting’. But what could I do? Truthfully, nothing! I am a purist on most things so in my estimation the proper thing would have been to say, “ I sent you a text message” or “I was sending a text message to you”. Then again who really does things the proper way?

So I will have to suck it up and hear people conjugate words in all types of weird ways. I guess at the end of the day we just make it up as we go along – that is the American way!

Now I'm Back Again

2009-02-14T13:01:00.000-05:00

Hey Blog world! (*To the tune of Slick Rick’s Hey Young World) I’m baaaaaaaack! With my blogging addiction, I am not sure how I stayed away so long. But I am happy to be back on the block, letting the world know my thoughts, feelings and ideas.

Well since I’ve been gone, here’s a quick Dave Letterman list of what you missed.

10. George Bush almost got hit in the head with a shoe.
9. George Bush left office!
8. I got a job!!
7. Uncle Simmie died.
6. No4Real moved to DC!
5. I met someone special!
4. I realize that I kinda miss Philly.
3. I live in the NOW more often than not.
2. I am composing my own Presidential Poem.
1. Barack Obama is the President of the United States.

On a different note, my heart goes out the families of those that were involved in the Buffalo New York Plane Crash. I cannot imagine how the families must be feeling but I have to take solace in the fact that – this too shall pass. There are all things that we have to go through in life and we have to take solace in the fact that life will ebb and flow but the most important part is that we live it!

It’s been seven months and there is so much to talk about so check back often. Until then . . .

Do The Signs Really Work? Well Zodiac That Is . . .

2008-06-19T19:56:00.004-04:00

Granted I am not a relationship expert and being as though I am not in one I shouldn’t have any comment. But in some stroke of luck I always manage to give relationship advice that works. Go figure!

The other day a friend and I were talking about Zodiac Signs and how that if people spend time looking at their signs, maybe they could come up with some type of indicator of compatibility in relationships. Now I am not a zodiac fiend but I do take a look at the scopes from time to time and in dating have taken a look at how compatible I’d be with this one or that one.

So I took a glance at his book and I was taken aback. He was telling me about looking at a specific page about the relationship with his current girlfriend. I almost dropped the book! The passage described their relationship in great detail. I was confused and slightly intrigued.

Recently, I met someone who happens to be a Scorpio. I am a Gemini. Of course based on the fact that we are (from what I thought) diametrically opposed. I said to myself let me enjoy the moment and get to moving. Then I thought, “I am not in consciousness. I have already ended this thing and moved along before it even got started”. So I choose to do just that to deal with what was in front of me for the moment.

What I had not understood in the past was that there will be some good and some bad. There will be some great loves and dramatic hurts but until you are fully committed then it is impossible to learn the lessons that the universe is here to teach. We spend so much time worrying about what will happen in the future and what could come that we don’t do what we can to take advantage of what is in front of us right now.

I let preconception go. Instead of following zodiac signs, I followed THE SIGNS. I enjoyed the opportunity and I can’t say anything particularly spectacular happened but because I was there in the moment what was supposed to happen did. As in life, I am available to learn the lessons.

Ever notice that sometimes when you are dating or in a relationship that you end up again in the same type of situation that you swore you’d never be in again? You think, “how in the hell did I get HERE again”? The answer is simple. Because you didn’t fully commit and learn that lesson, you have to repeat the level again. Often it’s more painful each time you take the journey no matter how different the skirt or pair of pants.

Here and now, I choose to be open and available. I will experience the hurt and the joy and though it all I know, “this too shall pass”. Does this mean that I won’t look at the horoscopes and see what may come from that new opportunity? Nope. I will always sneak a peek. I know what happens is more a result of my reactions. More firmly, history (or the stars) cannot control my destiny.

Contact vs. Connection: A Lesson Learned

2008-06-13T18:28:00.004-04:00

I am not really sure that I knew the difference from a contact versus a connection but life finds the most interesting ways and places to teach you things. In true respect for this life, I listen.

In a recent conversation with a great friend he said something to me that was very key and it rang true for our friendship. He said, “you know when you meet people, there are contacts and connections. Through all of the people that were there when we met, WE connected”.

Let me explain our friendship. I met him at what was truly the start of my blogging career. I had just been introduced to blogging by my fraternity brother No4Real4Real before attending the American Black Film Festival held in Miami. I went to the festival to get some great blogging material and to participate in Bill Duke’s Actors Boot Camp with actors from all over the globe. I was there not to make friends but just to learn.

In the room during the workshop they were calling students to perform monologues so that Mr. Duke could critique them and we could all learn. Some future stars were there that day – Lamman Rucker, Lance Gross and even Wendell Pierce. They were calling the participants from a lottery and with so many ladies in the class there were no brothers that had been called to perform. Finally, after seeing several great performances by some stellar ladies – they called me. Of course the few guys around me whispered as I went to the stage, “come on man, for the fellas”! As if I needed more weight on my shoulders.

I stepped up, did my thing and when I came back to myself, I noticed that everyone was standing and clapping. “I” however was lost in the character. On the next break I met several other brothers and sisters (we were really close after that class) who congratulated me and talked about working together. In fact my friend from Chicago and I only spoke once, right then and it was for all of five minutes.

Then we went home. Back to our lives and trying to make it in the business.

One day the phone rang and it was my Chicago friend. He started out saying, “I’m not sure if you remembered me or not” but I of course I let him know that the workshop was a life changing moment that I could never forget. Our conversation started and when I looked up we had been on the phone for more than two hours.

Since then we have talked consistently. Not just about acting or the business but about life. Of course there are the requisite talks about upcoming auditions or new headshots but family, relationships and the evolution of our lives dominate the landscape of what we talk about. Now here is what is even stranger, since we met we have not seen each other physically. Either we are not in the city when we are near or something prevents it but we only have our phone conversations and the occasional email.

At the end of the day, we are friends. We are bound by nothing in particular yet bound nonetheless.

That day, even though it took us time to realize it, we connected. We connected on an ethereal level. Not wanting anything from one another. Not expecting anything in return. We were just two conscious beings greeting each other in consciousness. Truthfully in pure LOVE!

Lesson learned! I can see the difference between a contact and a connection. I am happy to have learned the way I did.
Now in the words of the infamous MaDea, “Peoples are in yo life for a reason a season or a lifetime. YOU gotta figure out which one. Don’t go trying to keep them seasonal people ‘round ALL your life or you’ll mess up everytime”.

Ain’t that the wisdom of the ages! Now that’s one I’d like to learn without all the hard homework!

The Strangers - Passing Love

2008-06-11T12:10:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I went to the movies and I finally saw The Strangers. Although it was good and suspenseful, I really didn’t get it. I thought it was supposed to be really scary so of course I decided to go during the day.

WHY?

It definitely wasn’t as terrifying as I thought that it would be. I suppose if maybe I knew why there was so much killing going on, it would help. But I guess that’s what added to the mystique of the movie.

Anyway, I am so grateful to A New Earth and the things that I have learned they have really kept me afloat and understanding the purpose of NOW. However, the thoughts that are in my head never disappear. That’s cool. It’s just that now I can identify them as just that, THOUGHTS. They don’t control me they don’t sustain me but they are truly interesting. So I still see the thoughts and will write about the thoughts as they are. I will even experience the emotions connected to the thoughts. However, I can always hold to the truth that regardless of what happens good or bad, this too shall pass!

I know that one of the topics that most people write about are relationships and how and the lack of understanding about their evolution. Truly at the center of many of those issues is SEX. You know one of my girls started me watching Sex in the City and the premise of it became so very interesting. I almost though of starting another blog simply called SEX: A Man’s Code Word for Relationship! HA HA! Wonder who would have read that one.

Anyway, right now I am dealing with somewhat of a relationship/intimacy issue. I am “there” (meaning in the moment) and I know that this will pass but part of me doesn’t want it to. I think I really realize that the ego more and more just wants to have and needs attention. It may inflate or deflate itself on a regular basis just so that it can be in the center of what is going on. It’s my job no matter how painful to experience this expression of the universe and know that it is only temporary. Damn, you know it’s hard when it hurts but I’m a trooper.

Maybe I’ll take time and hash out this issue. Maybe in my gratitude journal. Or just maybe just for a moment I can just BE! Humm now there’s a novel thought.

Have you ever thought that you weren’t destined for love? I have often said that there were those like Dr. King and Malcolm X who’s life did not belong to them or their families but to the world. Maybe in that even though they had families they were supposed to focused on their purpose for being here. Just a thought. You know I still feel that I have a lot to give to the world and to love. It just will happen when it does!

I am Rahman Johnson and I Support Barak Obama!

2008-06-04T09:11:00.005-04:00

In a way, I knew that this would happen during my lifetime and still it is an interesting concept to wrap my mind around.

Barak Obama is now the Democratic Nominee for President of the United States! Truly I am excited!

During what can be called one of the most contentious races in U.S. history, I made what some would consider an unpopular decision. Hillary Clinton was my pick for President. I cannot tell you how many calls, emails, MySpace Messages and notes that I received, asking me to either explain or reconsider my decision. I can say some of the language that was used wasn’t the most pleasant. Nevertheless, I am truly proud to be an American, able to have made a decision and stand by it without (major) repercussion. That is the beauty of being an American and why I love this country and the freedom that it offers.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not dislike Senator Obama. I have said from the get-go that he is a great guy and an amazing candidate. It’s just in the race for president, I thought that Hillary Clinton was a stronger candidate and I committed to her candidacy. Never mind what Bill said, never mind what people told me – I believed that she was the best candidate for the race. Ironically, when my friends tried to persuade me to vote for Senator Obama none of them would extol me on the virtues of Senator Obama they simply tried to tear down Senator Clinton. How sad to have to tear down someone else’s choice so that you can make your choice look better. For me when I spoke about the race, I tried to do what I could to talk about all the great things that Senator Clinton has done throughout her career. I even appreciated her support when I ran for office. For me it was a no-brainer to support her candidacy.

What was sad was those who pledged their support to her and jumped ship when the roads got tough. Those who said they would be there for her and made changes based on poll numbers. Those are the ones who you do not want with you in a fight. To me it does not speak volumes for their character.

You know, from the beginning I have said that if my candidate is defeated or bows out of the race then I will support Senator Obama. I have been getting calls left and right from the Obama Campaign and his supporters asking for my support. In fact a high level staffer called and asked for fundraising help and said something me to that made me smile. She said, “you know I know from the beginning you have been with Hillary and regardless of what was said or done and even when your friends asked you to change you hung in there with her. That’s real. That’s loyalty and that’s what we need in this camp as we go forward. You are the kind of brother, we can truly count on because we know when you are here, you ain’t gong nowhere”. That was real to me because one of the most important traits one can have is loyalty.

I am ready to get out there raise money, contribute time and get Barak Obama elected. I also look forward to Senator Clinton as the Vice-Presidential running mate. I am happy to in the least have remained loyal until the end. I hope that those who couldn’t understand my decision look back and respect my stance. Proudly I went to the Obama website today and signed up. I made my first contribution to his campaign. I am ready to make this thing work. I am ready to be a part of electing a catalyst for change in America.

I am Rahman Johnson and I support Barak Obama for President!

The Me That I Get To Be With You

2008-05-29T17:26:00.004-04:00

I was having a conversation with someone yesterday and was overwhelmed by one of the most profound quotes that I had ever heard.

“The me that get to be with you, is the me that I like the most”.

It took me a moment to adjust to what I heard but in those few lines alone, all that I could think was WOW!! In reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth (this is of course another blog all its own), my eyes have really opened up to the roles that we play in life. More and more I recognize that quite often our actions are dictated by what people will think. We fall into these unconscious roles and end up “being” someone that we really weren’t meant to be. We then end up defining ourselves by our roles.

Are roles really necessary to survive?

Why can’t we just be the “us” that we like with the ones that we love and care for all the time?

Why can’t we just BE?

That's why this blog is simply - The Me That I Am! I can’t be any more or any less than I am!

I am contradiction. I am oxymoronic, hypothetical, abstract truth. Hell yea it’s confusing! That’s ok. It’s me! I am so much more than any and all of the accomplishments or accolades. I am so much larger than that. I am even more than thought. I am ME!

Another thing that perplexed me when I heard the quote was, “well who are you with everyone else”? I mean come on I understand human nature and I know that we are not ever going to be the same with everyone that we come in to contact with. But think about it, how really different are those sides from the true us?

As for me, I try to be as genuine as I can. Like most people, there are things inside that I choose not to let out. There are things that I enjoy only with me. But I think that when I am dealing with people I try to be as real as I can. I try to be the best person I can be without adding all of those layers of stuff that confuse the entire situation.

Hopefully, I am on my way to creating a New Earth by not allowing all that stuff (the pain-body) or egoism to cloud or constrict my relationships. Even though there are those around me who may not get it yet, I am cool with that. I am cool with knowing that being me is ok in any shape or form as long as I am “there” in the moment. I am not saying that this is, has been or will be easy. We all fall back into the comfort zone of playing roles or looking AT people instead of into them. However, it starts one person at a time making a concerted effort to SEE people and not want anything from them.

I am happy that people feel comfortable being themselves with me. It’s almost one of the best things I’ve ever heard. That’s’ real enough for me!!

Obama Gets Edwards: The Old Boys Club at Work

2008-05-15T18:56:00.001-04:00

John Edwards has endorsed Barak Obama. Can you believe it?

Initially, I could not believe that Edwards had endorsed Obama after saying that he was not going to touch anyone in the race. Now at the end of primary season, he turns coat and endorses Senator Obama. I would have respected the Senator more if he had not jumped into the fray and sat this one out but I guess that he was just not that intelligent.

It’s just that I keep hearing so many of the Super-delegates say that they respect Senator Clinton and the process. They say that they want to see the process play out. They, including Senator Edwards have said that they are stepping back and allowing the process to play out. They, say that they don’t want to see Senator Clinton forced out of the race. Nevertheless, they have all began to hurl endorsements and pledge delegate votes before the race has even ended.

At the end of the day, the debate that is going on now is healthy for the party and the country. It is a wise process and has made Senator Obama the better candidate for it. I believe that if he is the nominee that he needed this sharpening to be prepared for Senator McCain in the fall. This will be a tough election and this (contest with Senators Obama and Clinton) is not weakening the party but indeed strengthening it. This debate makes the issues that may have otherwise been overlooked front page news.

Right now, Senator Clinton is behind in both delegate and super-delegate votes. She is behind in the popular vote (excluding Michigan and Florida) and her war chest has been severely depleted. What good is it for folk like John Edwards and members of Congress to circle the wagons? What good is it for them to kick her while she is down? NONE!

I was very supportive of Senator Edwards and his positions before this. I thought that he was young progressive and cosmopolitan. I saw him as a picture of the “new south”. Now, I feel as if he is just another member of the old boys club. In some way shape or form I wish that Senator Clinton could clinch the nomination and show the old boys club that this is not just business as usual.

The Democratic Convention should not be just a coronation ceremony. As a former elected delegate, I am a fan of allowing debate on the floor. I am a fan of allowing the process to progress.

Hillary may not win but to publically force her out of the race leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It makes one think that our little daughters can never hope to grow up to be president. Why? In many ways the halls of power in this country, is still just another old boys club.

Indiana and N.C. Primaries: Election 2008

2008-05-06T18:52:00.005-04:00

So today is the day!

Indiana and North Carolina are on the map. They are ground zero as the largest of the final states that will participate in the Democratic Primary for President.

Currently, the polls are about an hour away from closing in North Carolina and the majority of the polls have closed in Indiana. Right now with 4% of the polls reporting, it’s no surprise that Hillary Clinton is leading the pack in Indiana. Though unscientific exit polls seem to say that more than 50% of voters in both states say that Clinton was the one to go negative in the campaign, she seems to be racking up votes in both states according to exit polling.

Now the interesting thing here is that Barak Obama has been leading in North Carolina by double digits for months yet, his lead appears to have eroded down to single digits (maybe as low as 6%) for the election.

What does that mean?

If indeed Hillary Clinton is launching unfounded negative attacks – then it’s working. I make no bones about that the fact that Hillary Clinton is my candidate but if she is coming out with unfounded attacks, I will be the first to say that she is wrong. But this is politics and she is saying nothing but the truth. I don’t see her making things up about Obama, I see her taking his record (or lack thereof) and his statements and giving her spin. You can’t hate Hills for that! The only thing to wait for now is are the results of this election, West Virginia and the Democratic Rules Committee Meeting on May 31st.

As the results come in, I’ll be watching and blogging with more.

Greek Love!

2008-04-06T19:57:00.005-04:00

Well, since this was the first weekend that I had spentin town since the holidays, I wanted to enjoy myself. It just so happened that Alpha Phi Alpha was having their Regional Conference in the city. Now you know with all of the festivities I had to go down there and show the Alphas how it’s done! LOL! You know being the good Kappa Man that I am! LOL!

Anyway, I hadn’t seen while Hilton, Jabari and Derrick in quite a while. They all wanted to go clubbing but you know I was on the same page as Hilton’s Linebrother – I had clubbed out. Never the less we hung out and turned Downtown into our private playground.

It was really good to see my boys who I hadn’t seen in a while. I really appreciate their hospitality and look forward to spending time with them again back in the south. Here are just a few pics from some of the fun. I can’t wait to talk about the antics that will surely come once I really get back.

Coming soon the story of the Divine Nine . . . .

The Journey Home

2008-04-05T14:33:00.004-04:00

Well I have been meaning to blog as I always say but here I am so all that I can say is that I am here now and here goes.

So I have been working back and forth in Philadelphia for the past several months. Of course there was an adjustment period to me going there but most importantly, I made it work for me! Now even though I was happy to be there (a part of me will always love Philadelphia), I was cool to be headed back to the south. I was downsized on my job and so you know how the hunt for the next gig goes. But the funniest thing was my journey home.

When I got to the city, I didn’t have any family or friends there but one person became as close to me as anyone could have. It was my little brother Crae. Now not to take away from Jason, Ike, Janelle, Z or any of the other crew. It’s just that Crae and I were closer than most. And it was cool. Although he tried to convenience me not to stay, I knew the time had come for me to go.

So first, I get to the U-Haul location to get one of the hitches for my truck. I could have hired movers but I was trying to save money to be prepared for the future and didn’t have a lot I wanted to bring so that was pretty cool. Well while I was there at U-Haul trying to rent the hitch, I found out that someone had used my name to rent a unit before and I was on some block list! I was in the moment though and moved on while vowing to fix this issue on Monday. Well while I was there taking care of the paperwork, one of the employees had come to me to tell me that they had accidentally backed into and dented my truck. Now I supposed since it was a 2007 I should have been mad but I wasn’t. It was just what was supposed to happen at that time. Crae took it as a sign that I wasn’t supposed to leave. Yea right.

So then Ike and Crae came over to the spot to help pack up and get outta there. The funny thing is, I live in a condo and the condo rules said that there were to be no move outs on the weekends. Why? I don’t know. But the fact that the unit costs over half a million dollars meant that I was moving out when I damn well pleased. So I did. Even though the crew and I did the move on the sneak tip, as much as you can sneak off of the 25th floor!

I pulled out for what should have been a 10 to 12 hour trip that turned into three days! Yes three days. Luckily I was obeying the U-Haul speed limit that said I should not go over 45 mph. When I hit South Carolina all of a sudden the tire of the hitch blew off. The back fishtailed a bit but I was able to pull over off of the interstate. Was I really still supposed to be in Philly still?

I was in a small town where the people were nice but there were many of them that gave me a look like why is he here? I found what could have easily been the Ramada Inn that time forgot and was forced to crash there until H-Haul could come and make repairs the next day. I ended up with a dinner of Papa John’s Pizza and an itchy bed but I made it through. As I stopped in SC I swear that there were 7 teeth in the entire state that were traded back and forth! LOL!

On my way home, I stopped in Oyotunji Village in South Carolina. That is a separate blog on its own!

Anyway, after all that I finally made it home. FINALLY! Check out some of the pics from my going away and the messed up U-Haul.

Oscar 2008: My Picks for the Best of the Best

2008-02-24T14:26:00.005-05:00

Although the writers strike made the entertainment awards season almost non-existent this year but an end finally came. I think that many movie and TV watchers were all over the SAG ceremony because they was all that they thought that they would get. But just in the nick of time (like a great film drama), the controversy ended and the mother of all award shows is going on with all the pomp and circumstance that we have come to expect. OSCARS 2008 is here!

Now although some of my SAG picks were a bit off, I’m going to trying this thing again. In some ways as a member of SAG I thought, “did they really count all of the ballots”? That coupled with Beyonce’s snub at the Grammy Awards (Song of the Year to Amy Winehouse – PLEASE!) has decreased my faith in those great awarding bodies.

So here we go . . .

Best Animated Short Film
Madame Tutli-Putli – This Canadian Animated Short is a beautiful depiction of a beautiful lady on an amazing journey. It was a two year labor of love and a standout for this category.

Short Film Live Action
Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets) – This great live action short film, tells the tale of a gang of pickpockets who eventually take in a deaf boy. Interesting!

Sound Mixing
TRANSFORMERS – Hands down! But I would not be mad at the Bourne Ultimatum.

Original Screenplay
Michael Clayton – What can I say, I wish I had written this movie myself. What a great story line and dynamic plot.

Adapted Screenplay
The Diving Bell and Butterfly – This book about a French Journalist who was stricken with a stroke and wrote an entire book by blinking his eyes was truly inspirational. I am not sure if I am feeling the adaptation for its inspiring nature or because it is great but you should both read and see The Diving Been and the Butterfly.

Sound Editing
Transformers – I had just bought my brand new surround sound system and the first movie that I played was Transformers. I felt that I was there with the characters. I could not believe that my childhood fantasy had come alive Optomus Prime was there talking with me! HA HA. But of all the films nominated Transformers makes the grade.

Visual Effects
The Golden Compass – For this not to be animated the visual effects were great. I was surprised that Enchanted was not nominated in this category.

Film Editing
There Will Be Blood – The edits were flawless. The story that was told was flowed with precision.

Makeup
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End – Who can argue with the Make-up of the cast of characters in this film. From Jack Sparrow on down there was never a dull visual moment.

Art Direction
American Gangster – This really should have been put up for best Director or Best Picture – guess Denzel and Ridley Scott was just too much for the Academy. This film transported the audience back to yesteryear. Kudos on Art Direction which is far less than this film should receive.

Foreign Language Film
12 – This Eastern European remake of the film classic 12 Angry Men is the drama that unfolds in a jury room as jurors deliberate a trial of a Chechen teenager accused of killing his step father.

Original Song
That’s How You Know from the film Enchanted – A beautiful song from a magical film.

Original Score
Atonement - Out of the Oscar selections this films scoring added to the piqued intensity of the film.

Documentary Short
Freeheld – This documentary of a New Jersey police Lieutenant dyeing of cancer whose pension benefits were denied to her domestic partner simply because she was a lesbian. It chronicles her journey. Very touching

Documentary Feature
Sicko – Michael Moore strikes again with his rant against the United States health care industry.

Costume Design
Elizabeth: The Golden Age – They must have used a time machine to get someone from the Elizabethan Age to bring costumes in for this movie. They seemed to be right on point.

Cinematography
There Will Be Blood

Best Director
Jason Reitman for Juno – I had no idea I would like this movie as much as I did. The direction and timing made the film.

Animated Feature
Ratatouille – If you haven’t seen this movie you have to rent it. A rat that becomes the toast of French Cooking – what a treat!

Supporting Actress
Ruby Dee for American Gangster – Ruby Dee better win this award. In an amazing career, this was definitely not her best performance. The Academy made this nomination for her body of work and the work of her husband Ossie Davis. Truly this year (before its too late) this is her time!

Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck for The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford – Casey holds his own against Brad Pitt and shows that the can become a real leading man.

Best Actress
Cate Blanchett for Elizabeth: The Golden Age – Cate Blanchett is ELIZABETH. It’s almost as if Blanchett was born to play this role. Her supporting performance in I’m Not There was a great Dylan performance but I feel her as Elizabeth. Note: Marion Cotillard could be a stealer in La Vie en Rose.

Best Actor
George Clooney for Michael Clayton – I know that the Academy likes Daniel Day- Lewis for this award but its time for George Clooney and he gives an excellent thrilling performance as Michael Clayton.

Best Picture
Juno – This is a long shot but I really like the movie and its sensibility and the fact that its humor kept me laughing aloud similar to the Squid and the Whale.

So those are my picks for Oscar 2008. Tune in tonight on ABC to see just how well we do.

Love To You: Happy Valentine’s Day

2008-02-14T17:59:00.001-05:00

I can’t tell you how many friends have called me or remarked on these stories about what they hoped to get or had planned for this significant others on Valentine’s Day. Then there was the drove of folk that called lamenting as to why they were alone today and fearing that they would always be alone.

First Valentine’s Day is just that . . . a day. Although I believe that just like any other day we can take days and make them what they are we put too much power and emphasis on this day.

More importantly, understand that truly when you love someone everyday should be Valentine’s Day!

Although I am currently single, I spent the day remembering my grandmother who died a few years ago and reaching out to those who are important in my life. That’s what you should do as well. Reach out to those in your life who may need a little boost and in turn you boost yourself.

Remember, today is not all about who loves you but more about who you love!

Hillary Clinton: That's My Girl

2008-01-15T01:34:00.000-05:00

So this week has been eventful. I know the Designer has a show this week that will be off the hook and it is getting colder by the moment here.

I am not going to make this blog too political but as you can see the Presidential Race is heating up and I plan to be right in the middle. One of my frat actually works for the Clinton Campaign and I am so happy that he is making things happen.

You know recently John Kerry endorsed Senator Obama. With all of the help that President and Senator Clinton gave him I was a little taken aback. Here is the letter I sent to Senator Kerry. I really hope he truly gets the message.

P.S. – I am still salty about getting broken up with via email but I am getting over it. UUGGHH!! Thought for the day: “ To get a piece of the pie, we need to sit on all sides of the table”.

Dear Senator Kerry,

I was very disappointed earlier today when I heard that you had endorsed Senator Obama for the Democratic Presidential Nomination.

Having supported you in both bids for the senate in your home state and your bid for the presidency, I felt very in tune with your political views. However, I feel that your endorsement of the senator is at best misguided.

In your remarks about the endorsement of the Senator you referenced Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s words “now it is the time to do what is right”. The right thing to do at this time would have been to support Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s quest for the Oval Office. I know that an individual’s years on Earth has no comparison to great judgment and intuition but I believe that Senator Clinton is the most qualified candidate in both areas.

As an African-American man, former elected official and life-long Democrat – I have more than once been quizzed about my staunch support for Senator Clinton but as you were quoted as saying earlier NOW IS THE TIME.

America is the only first world country to have never had a woman leader. In over two hundred and thirty years of existence – it is odd to see that a woman has never been in leadership positions in this country. Look at the record. Very few female Supreme Court Justices and never a female Chief Justice; never a woman as chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, never a woman as Majority Leader of the Senate and only recently Speaker of the House and finally never a woman in the White House. However, now in 2008 we are presented with one of the most dynamic yet polarizing leaders that this country has ever seen. We see Hillary Clinton. Here is lady who is educated, eloquent, poised, intelligent and tenacious enough to handle all of the challenges that sit before her. An individual who when challenged with being a First Lady who was active in developing policy and didn’t shirk from the challenge. An individual who can and will show all of our daughters and sons that in America . . . ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

I appreciate you taking the time to read this email and I hope that when Senator Clinton becomes the Democratic Nominee, that you and others who have chosen not to support her candidacy will work to ensure that our country is blessed with competent Democratic Leadership.

Again, thank you for your continued service. With warm regards, I am
Sincerely,

Rahman K. Johnson

No Pain No Gain -- So When Does the Gain Come?

2008-01-12T22:55:00.000-05:00

So I am sitting here in true multi-tasking form. Watching the Jaguars play New England, blogging and of course washing clothes. When I was a kid my grandmother told me that I was never to wash clothes on New Year’s Day or on the first three Friday’s of the New Year less someone would be washed out of the family.

Of course my faith and belief in God trumps superstition but in some small way it keeps a bit of my grandmother and her wisdom alive in my life.

As for the football game, I was starting to get excited but it seems as though New England is coming back. Jacksonville had things tied up through the half, which is a feat within itself. Nevertheless, I haven’t given up on my beloved Jaguars just yet! Rasheen Mathis is making it do what it do!!

Aright so on to the real story. As I said I had been kicking it extra hard from the holidays until now. Or so I thought. You know I am that kind of brother that opens doors, listens to conversations to purchase or make those sentimental gifts that truly mean something or just be the moral support when needed. But you know one of my friends (The Designer) said something that has resonated with me every since. He said, “Rahman when anyone dates you, they have to step up to the plate and at the very least grow up. You are the kind of guy who has a lot going on. Your light is so bright that if there are those who are intimidated or lacking in confidence, your light shows their inadequacies”.

Ain’t that the truth!

So anyway I went home to help with the burial of my stepmother and had not heard from Lisa (cause she is bohemian like Lisa Bonet) and chalked it up to the holidays and her not being available. I will say that deep down I wondered what the issue was and I knew something was wrong but I never could quite put my finger on it. As a holiday gift, I got her the BIG I-Pod (you know the one). But the kicker was, I didn’t just get her the I-Pod. I made a special playlist (that took me two days to design). They were songs that had meaning and sent messages. At least I thought that was more special than just giving someone an I-Pod.

Nevertheless, after getting back to Philly and calling for a few days – she contacted me.

FINALLY . . . .

THOUGH AN EMAIL!

She sent me an email!

The gist of the email was first an apology for not keeping contact. Second the fact that when I said I loved her it made her question the validity of that statement and finally, that “I am a amazing guy with a bright light that she was not equipped enough to handle”. WOW! I just received a break-up – via email!

I am not sure weather to laugh, cry or just look dumbfounded!

I mean truthfully I wasn’t looking for a relationship and at the very least I was hoping that since I had let my guard down a bit I had found a friend.

I guess that just wasn’t in the cards.

She of course agreed to meet and talk about the situation (per her request) broke the meeting and has yet to call to reschedule. I am not sure at all what to expect at this point. There is a vulnerable part of me that feels “some kind of way” about the situation. Then there is the major part of me that says please – they are not ready!

Then again, I wonder.

Quite often, I have been cool with friends and on the verge of relationships with those who said “you are just too much”. Although because I am working hard on my career, being their for friends and championing causes that I believe will make the world better place -- I still like to have fun. No, it is not all about smoking a blunt or going to the next party for me. It’s not about bringing every woman I come in contact with to my house to bang out. It defiantly is not about impressing anyone. It is simply to adhere to my long running mantra to leave the world a better place than it was when I arrived.

I guess in way, having it together has its drawbacks. However, all that I know is success. Failure is not an option. If you can’t deal with an upgrade, then I guess I really didn’t need you in my life anyway.

It was a necessary lesson. But one that hurt none the less.

Today’s Thought: “A necessary pain today prepares you for the appreciation of tomorrows pleasure.”

It Starts With Drama

2008-01-08T02:52:00.000-05:00

I am going to try and make a conscious effort to blog at least once a week this year and maybe more. I am also thinking about starting another “brother” blog strictly about politics. I am so fascinated about what is going on in the Presidential election this year and I believe that some interesting things are just beginning to unfold. I am not sure just yet how that will take shape but I am moving forward.

Right now 2008 is unfolding in a very interesting manner. I have spent some time reflecting on 2007 and hoping to be a better person this year.

Interestingly enough, things are unfolding in an unbelievable fashion right now. First one of my boys went home for the holidays and returned to find his check in bed with another man! Yea, they had just secured a mortgage and were about to purchase a home together. When he told me what happened, I was hurt for him. I had to remind him though, better he find out now that after they had bought the house and were married. Folk can be so dumb. Not that I condone cheating in any form but in the bed that you both sleep in every night at your house. Dumb ass!!

On a personal level, I have been kicking it hard before the holidays. Yea, you know great dates, emotional intimacy – the works. I told her that I loved her, not that I was in love with her but just that I loved her and since then, we have only spoke via text once. I’m trying to be optimistic. Let’s hope that things work out in my favor. I’ll post about it later.

Thought for today: “Better to be silent and thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”!

Welcome to 2008

2008-01-03T18:40:00.001-05:00

My Friends,
Again, though it seems far too soon, another year has come! Happy 2008! I trust that this New Year finds you healthy, happy, blessed, prosperous and full of perpetual optimism for the year to come. As most know, I choose to greet my family and friends with a letter heralding the New Year. This is my annual tradition and a way to rise above the usual holiday shuffle. I encourage you to use this as inspiration for you to create your own traditions unique to your family, which can be your legacy.

2007 has been a year of transition, discovery and understanding. I am reminded of the quote that says: “ As a child, I knew it all. The older I became, the less I found out I knew. In my old age, I found out how ignorant I was.” I see the truth of that quote ever so clearly as time progresses.

On a personal level, I really miss those that have passed on. It has been almost three years since my grandmother and there have been many others they left me with great pearls of wisdom. My mother makes educating youth more than a career and looks forward to some new and innovative projects in 2008. We are also thankful for stellar health throughout the family! I have worked to devote time to the goals of my fraternity Kappa Alpha Psi, Inc., The Screen Actors Guild and campaigning for my Presidential pick, U.S. Senator Hillary Rodham- Clinton (D-NY).

Professionally, I continued the year working in Marketing and Promotions in the Northeast. I was also able to complete production on Queen of Media: The Wendy Williams Story, Incorporated – The Story of the Philadelphia Black Mafia and Starting Fresh – a series about getting a job that is one of the hottest selling educational series on the market and is nominated for a Telly© Award! I am looking forward to many acting, producing and theatre opportunities this year. I am also looking forward to the new and improved rahmanjohnson.com which will debut in February!

2008 represents a Realization of Potential! You know one of the wealthiest places on Earth is not Ft. Knox or a Federal Reserve Bank – it is the cemetery. This is because of all of the dreams and potential that died with those who didn’t tempt fate and pursue their dreams. You see Denzel Washington though great is not the greatest actor of our time. Somewhere in some cemetery is a performance that was never seen that was the greatest in the world. Let your light shine and realize the potential that lies within!

May you and your family experience the most heartfelt blessings of a New Year filled with Peace, Harmony, Prosperity, Health and Love! Inside of us lies the undaunted power to create positive change in the world – USE IT! Remember doing a common thing in an uncommon way sets you apart. Happy New Year! With warm personal regards, I remain

Forever,

Rahman

Frenchie Davis -Keeps Moving Forward

2007-11-05T15:14:00.000-05:00

Not a great deal to talk about today. I got a call from my frat telling me about the premier of the new movie This Christmas with Loretta Divine, Delroy Lindo and Chris Brown. It is directed by Rob Hardy (A FAMU Grad - one time for the hill).

I'll let you know how it goes. Check the picture of me and my homee Jason with American Idol contestant turned Broadway Star Frenchie Davis after a performace in Philadelphia. Her voice was amazing and she is as beautiful as she is talented.

If you ever get to see her live check her out. I was like Jennifer who? LOL. Nevertheless, ENJOY!

I Need to Wrirte . . . . No Really I Need to Write

2007-11-05T04:21:00.000-05:00

So I have not blogged in quite a while and you have all gotten on me for that. I will try to do better. One of the reasons is that there are some things that I want to talk about and some things I wish to remain personal. I am working on being able to share more but its like I just gotta have something that is just mine!

First, I gotta say much love my Aunt Sam and Cuz Thumper. The both celebrated birthdays in the last few days. I really wish I could be with them but I will just have to wait until I see them for the holidays.

Aright, I’m sure I will be more substantive issues in my future writings. For now enjoy this poem and a pic of me doing my Halloween thing! Don't forget to check back soon.

Rahman

Feelings
My feelings are proud
Not to be displaced by a mere thought of lexicon
They are my feelings and to me they are my power
I take necessary precautions-
I guard with caution -
Moving not with compulsion I stir my soul
Black pot of power
Boiling and bubbling, holding my past, my present, my destiny
I refuse to hide my feelings
They are foundation for my character
See my feelings,
Feel my feelings
Know you have no power there
For they are my feelings...

--Rahman Johnson, 2003

BET is Back on Track

2007-10-07T13:14:00.000-04:00

So I am just getting over having an extraction of one of my teeth. I had lost hearing in my left ear and had an appointment with an ENT for tubes in the ear. I really forgot how much the teeth are integrated in the whole physiology of the body. Nevertheless, the got the tooth out and I am taking pain killers and of course antibiotics. I am in hopes that my hearing will come back soon. I am not trying to have to learn sign language!

Today I just had to spend a minute on BET. Have worked for the network in the past, I had been outspoken in criticism about the lack of “good” programming for all African Americans. I was so happy when Cathy Hughes brought TV One on the scene. Finally, someone brought sophisticated topical programming to the scene for people of color. Not to put down Willie Gary’s MBN Network but TV One was everywhere. They were really a viable option.

Then out of now where and under some great new leadership, BET is remaking itself with morethan just booty shaking videos and people who can’t speak correct English. [Do you remember that Psychic Line Commercial with the lady that says, “I think someone put roots on me”?! But I digress]

First, I have to admit I have Hell Date on TiVo and watch almost every episode (my friends Dahali and Mario are reoccurring characters). And today I happened to watch the new American Idol-esque show Sunday Best hosted by Kirk Franklin and then it was followed by Exalted the Juanita Bynum story. It was so riveting that I didn’t change the channel once. I event called my mother who to my surprise had already seen Exalted and told me to call her when it ended.

Now even though as a former television personality and producer, I look at some shows (like the new games show, Hell Date and We’ve Got to Do Better [formerly Hot Ghetto Mess]) and see some definite changes that I would make, it is still a far cry from yesteryear.

BET – you are definitely on the right track. You are doing what I truly believe that Bob and Shelia Johnson had in mind when they mad3 the decision to found the network. You are showing “all” the images of our people both positive and negative. When you named Reginald Hudlin, President of Entertainment who knew that he would jump start things like this.

Now Meet the Faith is on Hosted by Ian Smith and the topics look interesting. Too bad it took another game in town for BET to step their game up. Finally, I feel like I have two great networks and that they represent me!

Musical Genius Erykah Badu -- I Miss Her

2007-09-21T12:01:00.001-04:00

Erykah Badu Changed My Life

She is indeed the Love of My Life.

I remember the first time that I heard an Erykah Badu song. It was On& On and I was in the studio (I was a radio jock at the time) and listening to new artists. I remember thinking here is someone else trying to be creative with the spelling of their name. I pressed play and out of the speakers poured a sound that was new and different but reminiscent of a time that I had never experienced.

From day one I was hooked.

It is like her rhymes were so unlike anything that I had ever heard it was truly a love affair. Granted I was not trying to fall in love with her. Whatever she got between her legs sends niggaz wild! Look at Andre Benjamin – after Badu he went from Dro and Lacks to blond wigs and turbans. Or Common once she finished with him – the brother was rocking shawls and crochet pants! Yea, Mama’s Gun is strong and serious but I love her none the less.

When I am traveling, when I am reading, when I am writing, when I am working out – she takes me on Worldwide Journey Underground. From introducing me to N’dambi to helping me discover deeper parts of myself, for me Badu had always been there.

I enjoy her holistic philosophy and in many ways think that she challenges convention to ensure that at the basis of it all – WE LEARN! I may not be ready to ride to the “Mother Ship” with her but I am ready to ride with Badu. You can never create another earthy diva like her. Never!

She is a chick that is down for her man. A chick that knows LIGHT is the only cure for darkness. I have been working on a poem about her for sometime but every time I am ready to reveal it – another thought comes. So I’ll share it when the time is right

Take a day and join me on the journey! Ingest Baduism and understand that the mission of this sister is more than music. It’s the words that identify her passion. After Revolution – there must be Peace. Only then can you really take control.

Light,
RAHMAN

Incorporated: On The Set

2007-09-21T04:12:00.001-04:00

Hey, Hey, Hey!
So as you know I LOVE my job – you know being an actor and all. I know that one day I will be able to do this full-full time.

Anyway, I am currently working on the newest project here in Philadelphia called Incorporated. It is directed by up and coming director Michael Johnson. Who I must admit knows how to get a great performance out of actors and he did his undergrad work at Hampton University. You can’t hate a man from an HBCU!

I was the first one on set since this day my make up was pretty extensive since I was to be beaten to a pulp and my head was to be sawed off. Let me back up. The movie is about the Philadelphia Black Mafia. This was a ruthless group of African-American men who ruled the black underworld in the northeast during the mid-to-late 1960’s. These guys were the premier numbers runners, drug pushers and all around enforcers of the criminal activities in the area. This is their story.

I play James Foxx, one of the members of the collective.

Anyway during the filming the weather was very cooperative. Since this was my day for getting beat down, all I had on was a tank top tee shirt. That was both the good and bad part. Good because, I was able to stay cool but bad because I couldn’t wear any protective gear. The other part is that since we were doing close-ups, I had no stunt double. RIGHT! I got the crap kicked out of me! All the falls, I took em! I even have the bruises to show for it!

Although, I was “there” in the scene – as most actors do I had to rely on my performance since the opportunity didn’t exist to check playback. The crew was very complementary and I was truly working with a “band of brothers”. The enforcers, played by Atif Lanier and Nakia Dillard and the boss Franklin Ojeda Smith, were pros that gave me what I needed to work with. Mr. Smith was probably one of the most dynamic men I had ever met.

When he arrived the joke started out about his hands. The script called for him to “pimp slap” me in the face. Well of course I took a look at his hands and my first words were, “Man you got some big hands – Oh hell naw”! We had a good laugh and connected nevertheless. In our conversation, I discovered that he was also a cancer survivor, a former educator and that one of his sons was my frat brother. To sum it up even further – he was also boule’! For lack of a better term he was in the very least distinguished and supremely talented.

We were able to get some great shots and have a few more days of shooting ahead. I love quickly developing a family on set. It already feels right. It’s just a matter of time before I am doing this every day. That’s something that I can’t wait to do.

What the Hell Was He Thinking?

2007-09-18T00:18:00.000-04:00

So somebody please tell me what the hell is wrong with O.J. Simpson. I mean what was he thinking?

When I looked up and saw him on CNN (you know they are everywhere all the time), I knew that this had to be some sort of a joke.

I guess not.

I’m thinking O.J. was receiving a pretty hefty NFL pension, he does not have to spend the rest of his life in jail and he relaxes at a pretty palatial estate in Florida.

Yet, according to the news reports that I have read, Simpson allegedly burst into a hotel room to take back some of the sports memorabilia that belonged to him.

WHY?

First, after the 33 million dollar judgment that exists against him from the Goldman Estate almost any money that he collects outside of his pension goes to the Goldman Family. What the hell does he need to look at some trophies for anyway? I mean there are dozens of photos all over of him receiving every award that he has gotten. Look at those.

Some people are just stuck on stupid!

OK O.J., so you felt the people took your property? Then call the police. Do you not realize that you are probably one of the most hated men in America? Does it not dawn on you that many people feel as though you got off and that they are looking for a way to bring you to justice? Nevertheless, you just play right into the hands of those same people.

It’s like you have a wish to be right back where you were thirteen years ago. Seated in front of a judge defending yourself! You could have easily held dual citizenship with another country and keep under the radar, assisted in the raising of your children and tried to live out the rest of your life in comfort and anonymity. I guess that NOT being the center of attention was just too much for you.

Just like with Michael Vick, I feel that even though this is a crime, the punishment may have been a bit too harsh. Nevertheless, you had no business there and now you have to pay the price.

I will never stop admiring the OJ that made magic on the field!

I will always laugh at all the Naked Gun movies!

Yet, I will always scratch my head with some of the stuff that you do and just wonder, “What the hell was he thinking?”

The Charlie Mack Celebrity Weekend

2007-07-20T04:33:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to get on and blog for a sec but things have been majorly hectic. First, I feel as though I should be featured in one of my favorite blogs YBF! I did the whole red carpet thing and of course had the ensemble together to make it hot!

The event was held at Miss Tootsies’ in Philadelphia on uber trendy South Street. It was the Charlie Mack Celebrity Party for Peace. For those who don’t know, Charlie Mack is Will Smith’s best friend and former manager. He is known for his generosity and love for the community and through this event he gives thousands of dollars to local charities each year. With Philadelphia leading the country in murders, this was a chance to get some of the top names in sports and entertainment to take a stand. I was happy to take part.

The event featured Tisha Campbell, Tichina Arnold, Mo’Nique, Rahiem Brock and Dwayne Martin. There were also many other actors and athletes there but the biggest of the evening had to be Rush Hour Star and Comedian Chris Tucker. Charlie grabbed me up when I arrived and made me walk the red carpet with him and Chris. I had done the red carpet thing before – but never with a member of the 20-million-a-movie club. I think that this is just God’s way of letting me know that the BIG stuff is just around the corner.

I had a chance to kick it with Adetukunbo one of the most

beautiful models on the planet. Indeed it was all an experience.

By the way, if you are ever in Philadelphia, check out Miss Tootsies’. The owner Kevin is really c

ool and the manager Rian, makes everyone feel right at home.

I still have to get to my post about falling for someone too quickly but for now enjoy the pics and look forward to the outing with Nicole, Thais Stunna and I.

By the way, I am at the hospital with Stunna. He was bitten by a spider while

we were moving event equipment. We have been here about three hours now so hopefully they will get to him soon. Keep my little cuz in your prayers.

Light!

Friday the 13th is Finally Gone

2007-07-14T05:46:00.000-04:00

I am so happy to be done with Friday the 13th unit I don’t know what to do. It was so bad by the end of the day I had to take a few Happy Campers “my herbal mood enhancer” to deal.

At the last minute I got the call that I was to go to the movie set for my last day of shooting. So I went about booking travel and re-arranging my schedule to be there. There really is a lot of uncertainty surrounding this project so I am really trying to my best. That coupled with the fact that my frat is having our bi-annual KONCLAVE in Minneapolis. Also the Charlie Mack celebrity weekend kicks off in Philadelphia and my main marketing client is the sponsor. This is finally coupled with the fact that the area Greek Picnic is this weekend as well. I just couldn’t do it all but it is nice to be in demand.

My NY trip was pretty uneventful, until on the trip my phone went dead and they couldn’t get in touch with me. I did not have the number for the assistant director and so they didn’t know where I was. Needless to say, they shot the scenes around me without me being there. All the while I was stuck in the horrendous hell that is New York traffic. Usually on most productions, they send a car for you and you can plan out how things are going to work. I was not so lucky here.

In fact they were upset with me, though I was the one sitting in traffic. I guess that this will be one more story to tell as I travel this acting road. I know that it can only get better from here.

Once I finally made it back to Philadelphia, I had to drop by a local event at The Corner Pocket and get set up for the celebrity event at Miss Tootsies. I plan on trying to get a little rest today but as I lock out of my window, the sun is creeping over the horizon. Oh well!

The lesson for today, “Let me love you for who you are as opposed to who you aren’t”. Mad shouts to my girl Lisa from VA! She just jumped on the blog and showed me some love. Got head to VA soon to check that out. I still owe a post on Babylon Sisters but first. Is it really possible to care deeply (almost love) someone after just a few days? Well discuss that soon!

Until then . . .

Peace and Light!

Hang Wit My Frat

2007-07-09T22:04:00.001-04:00

So this weekend the company did a concert at Shampoo with Fat Joe, Tony Sunshine and the Terror Squad. Pretty hot talent huh?

I have some pics from the whole thing. I will more than likely put them up once I can sort through them. The good thing was that I actually hung out with one of my fraternity brothers – Smooth B. He is the man! I met him through his cousin here in Philadelphia. He has really been a big help. Ima try to get him on staff to join the team. I hope we can make this work.

I also still have to do a post on Babylon Sisters. It was such a great read. I'ma get on it next.

So, the show was hot but you know what I can't get out of my mind? How can you fall from someone in two days? See, the last think that I wanted to do while I was here in Philadelphia was to find a little lady to hook up or hang out with. Truthfully, I had not planned on being here that long but you know when fate intervenes you have to allow yourself to just exist.

As far as the office, you know things have really gotten better. I have been able to manage and run things now that stunna is here. You never really realize how much one person and their persona can change the day and allow you to be the you that you know you can be. I so appreciate Stunna for that.

As I sign off, I am trying to find my way to Minneapolis for the Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Incorporated bi-annual convention. I have to work but hopefully I will be able to get away and get up there with the frat and make it happen. I'll keep you posted.

Until then . . . .

"The Secret" Cures Cancer / 7-7-7 PERFECTION!

2007-07-08T00:09:00.001-04:00

I am sitting here chillin with John Coltrane and a cup of tea enjoying Philadelphia with a definite story to tell. I was on an airplane this morning and just finished reading the Pearl Cleage novel Babylon Sisters. After her poem "We Speak Your Names" and of course "Flyin' West" (a great play), I have become a huge Pearl Cleage fan. My thoughts on the book will probably be reserved for tomorrow.

There is a lot going on here tonight. I am sponsoring a concert with Fat Joe, Terror Squad and Tony Sunshine. A lot of Reggaeton and all the Latin Fellaz and Females will make Club Shampoo LIVE. I must get ready for an eventful day but I felt obliged to share this.

About two weeks ago I was in a small neighborhood bar in Philadelphia. As a part of handing marketing, often I go out to solicit feedback from consumers and just "buy the bar". For those that don't know the speak, that means that I buy drinks for those people in the club hanging out as a courtesy for their time during our engagement process. During this night I met a lady who was pretty blasted. Of course being the guy that I am I engaged her in conversation. We talked for a few moments and we immediately became comfortable with each other.

One thing led to another and she told me that the reason that she was there drinking was that she had just been to the doctor that day and he told her the cancer was back.

"I am just getting over breast cancer and chemotherapy", she said sadly. I was wondering how she could be sad when she beat cancer.

"See these tits?", she questioned.

"They aren't real".

When we finished talking I learned that she was a survivor of about a year and a half and that she had a double mastectomy. Her new breasts looked amazing. And that she was the mother of a beautiful young adult daughter. I felt like we had a connection and that we had known each other for years.

"The reason I'm getting drunk tonight, is because the doctor told me earlier today that the cancer was back".

Now I am not usually one for the self-help mumbo jumbo but if you know me you know I read the bible constantly and truly believe in "The Secret". The Secret is a book and DVD by Rhonda Byrne. It is something I have lived my life by for as far back as I can remember. It simply puts into words – The Law of Attraction. SO YOU THINK . . . SO IT IS!

Knowing this concept and with my faith in God I began to tell the lady that she was not convicted by the sentence that doctor had given her. If she thought properly and changed her way of thinking then she could indeed beat this thing. Having been much worse off than she, I know the power of prayer and belief.

As I told her about it she kept insisting that she had felt the knot of cancer in her chest and tried to get me to put my hand there. "NO!", I told her immediately. I couldn't touch what was not there! I urged her during our brief talk to just say with me, "THERE IS NO CANCER". She kept telling me there was and trying to get me to touch it but eventually, I broke though.

"OH, there IS no cancer"!

She finally got it and her friends gathered around and in a bar in the middle of the night we lifted a prayer for her continued healing. I know it seems strange praying with drunk people in a club – but you never know where God will do his thing.

Stunna was there with me and by the time that we left everyone in the club was chanting, "There is no cancer!"I made her promise me that every day at least seven times a day she would remind herself aloud that there was no cancer.

Well the kicker to the story is that "she" sent me an email to say that when she went to the doctor yesterday to make a decision on her options, there was no decision to be made. The lump was gone! That's' right the email said that there was no explanation, the lump was gone and she was cancer free!

It was fitting that I got this news on 7-7-7! Today is a day of completion and I believe that there was a reason that I was able to help this lady begin her journey to healing. In the most basic level, through helping her I helped myself.

Cargo Shorts: The Me That I Am -- OK?

2007-07-03T16:06:00.000-04:00

Aright so I am sitting at the office this afternoon. I am finally able to enjoy some quiet. My office is very busy and bustling but there have been some personnel changes and things are starting to just become more fluid. Often people can bring an aura with them when they come into a situation and even though we think positively sometimes we need others around us to amplify what is there.

I am listening to Busta Rhymes New York ^*&&$# -- it is the deal. I guess that I have recently been into the NYC thing. Nowhamean!!!

Well another young lady that works in the office today had a couple of issues in her life coupled with the fact that some people had touched things on her desk. Well it just so happened that I received the brunt of her wrath. I mean she went on and on and even though I wasn’t the one who did what she said, I caught it. After a few minutes I asked her to step out of the office and we discussed the situation in a rather heated manner. I tried to be cool in the office but couldn’t so I had to “go there” just so we could discuss the issue with civility. I guess sometimes it just takes that to handle business. I really like the young lady so it was done once it was over but sometimes working in an office full of ladies can be challenging. Luckily I was allowed to hire a brother who knows my style and how to deal professionally. “Stunna” is also a pro. He was there early this morning and he was on it! But I didn’t expect anything less.

Oh yea, I bought some cargo shorts yesterday and rocked them with a pair of Adidas’. Man why didn’t I get the memo before now that cargo shorts were hot like that! I got them a little bigger than my actual size and figured that I would try them out – I am in love. I wish I could wear them year round. Is this a new period for me? Am I going from upscale casual to grunge? Hummmm?

OK on the philosophical tip – Does being the me that I am, mean that I will never change? You know change is always good and necessary. [Song change Corinne Bailey Rae – Enchantment] Hopefully, the man that I am today is not the man that I was on yesterday and prayerfully, I will not be the same man tomorrow. The reason I ask this is that I recently had a conversation with someone to which I explained that one of the reasons that though I know a lot of people, I usually abstain from establishing a lot of majorly close relationships because the closer that people are to you – the easier they can hurt you. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not around being a hermit but you have to be judicious about who you allow into your circle. You know what my friend offered me a piece of advice recently, “Show some sincerity”. I was initially taken aback by the statement. But after quizzing my friend, basically he was saying allow yourself to be vulnerable.

I am sincere, passionate and considerate. Sometimes to a fault. But he was right sometimes I spend so much time shielding myself from everyone that miss who is really there for me. As an actor – I use that emotion for my characters. The hurt or loneliness or vulnerability, I use to bring characters to life. Nevertheless, I suppose that it makes me the individual miss out on some things.

I appreciate that advice. Sometimes it is good to experience the hurt just so that you can be ready to identify the good things when they come along. Keep bangin’! I got some realness coming, so stay tuned.

Back Again for the Fourth Time

2007-07-01T12:07:00.001-04:00

So here it is. Another one of those blogs that say, I am back. I cannot begin to tell you that I hate doing that kind of stuff. So I will try to make some time in each and every day to write. If for nothing else, it's therapeutic for me. See – ya'll my therapist and didn't even know!

I am here in Philadelphia for a few days sipping a cup of Acai Zinger Herbal tea and listening to Music Choice – it is a poetry set with Keseema Kalifa and it with the tea is definitely hitting the spot.

Yesterday, we continued filming on the Wendy Williams Movie Queen of Media. Yea I know you probably have forgotten by now. I almost did! I play her dad Mr. Williams. Of course the dad to young Wendy. Since when did I look old enough to play the father of a college student? Oh well, I still look good don't I? Huh – answer me! LOL.

The movie was shooting in Staten Island, New York at Wagner College. It was my first time ever in Staten Island but the trip was a pretty cool experience. The staff was nice and professional and I was able to get one of my frat brothers to take the drive with me. He used to live on Staten Island so that made things pretty easy getting there.

I arrived shot my scenes and they even made my boy one of the extras. It was pretty cool all in all. Of course I'll leave the juicy on set stuff to come later. Yea, you gotta tune in.

On the way back, I stopped by the AT&T store to pick up the new I-phone. The guy at the store told me that my Blackjack had everything I needed so say with that and my 80GIG I-Pod. Cool with me!

The most interesting thing about the day I think was hanging out with my frat. I put on the pledge CD and we ended up reminiscing and singing pledge songs all the way back. How's that for a road trip?

The night ended with an event back in Philadelphia at Grape Street Pub. I was one of the sponsors so I had to go make an appearance. Little did I know I would be upstaged by Sir Charles Barkley! Nah, he was in the house enjoying himself and it was just a mad cool time. I forgot that Sir Charles was in the area. Maybe I should have challenged him to a game of one on one.

Nah. I think I was right to leave well enough alone!

VA Tech Shooter - We Need To Know

2007-04-20T07:27:00.000-04:00

We need to see the photos and the tape. We need to see the writings. We need to see what mad the mad man who he was. Don’t hold back!

For the past few days blogs, news services and people have been saying that the tape from the Virginia Tech Shooter Cho Seung-Hui should not have been released and shown by NBC. I feel just the opposite. I understand the thoughts of the families of the victims and other students of the university but I feel that the world has a right to see and know.

Truly, as much information as we can get – no one can ever figure out why he did what he did. However, that video and his writings give some sort of insight so that some type of answer can be provided.

Instead of being upset with news services about distribution of the tape NBC needs to be applauded for ensuring that the public has as much information as possible so that we can hopefully reach out and prevent something like this from happening in the future.

Even deeper, think about this after killing two people, Seung-Hui was able to cross a busy intersection and send an air mail package before going on to kill thirty more people. Where was security? Where were the police? How did he kill two people and just calmly walk over to the Post Office? Those authorities are the ones who need to be questioned. Even after Nikki Giovanni, other professors and mental health professionals documented the instability of Cho, no one made a move to remove him or dig deeper.

Of course this was just an accident and a tragedy. We all want answers and want to find a way to justify what was done. But at its essence this was unjustifiable. We can’t find a way to explain his rational or thoughts. We can only believe that is his infinite wisdom, God had allowed those who died to serve a purpose. From listening to the stories of each of the victims to the wake up call that came from the rampage – weather we understand it or not this event had a purpose.

Instead of beating on the media, let’s pray and remember the victims of this awful tragedy.

Irreplaceable

2007-03-17T11:33:00.000-04:00

Not a lot on the horizon here, just got to gripe a bit. I am still in the Northeast and it seems like it is going to snow here every day. I mean I just look out the window and it snows. It helps that I am in a high rise and I can enjoy it from there but driving in it is an entirely different story.

In fact I am still learning walking in the snow. I have pretty much mastered that task until yesterday. I was walking to my car and came upon some black ice. You know I almost busted my behind but I was super quick caught it and kept going. It’s all good though.

Oh yea, pet peeve with Philadelphia. I am a real purist, so if something is a rose – call it a rose. Why does every one here call it Philadelphia - Philly? I personally like the name Philadelphia sometimes when calling it Philly I feel that it disrespects the name and its meaning. Well enough about that. I will have to vent on my feelings about some of the people here later.

Nevertheless, check out this recent poem or spoken word joint I wrote. I thought about calling it Beyonce’ but for now it is known as Irreplaceable – A True Love Tale. Let me know what you think.

IRREPLACEABLE
You called me today
Saying your usual things acting your usual way and you said, “I love you”

Should have known when I heard the words that they were loaded.
Real.
But loaded nonetheless.

Loaded with emotions of caring and loving and feeling and not knowing quite where these emotions belong – we proceeded.
I was in a special moment when you called me today.
Seeing your number flash across my caller ID – took me to time that we had shared before. I remembered those moments. For then our ecstasy transcended four lifetimes!

I mean the thought of you and what you said was so real I had to call my ex.
The first and true love my life,
Had to tell her,
Had to let her know,
Had to warn her – watch your back!
There was another out there
Another who could surpass her emotion another who could spin feelings out of nothing.
See only she could understand how I feel right now.
Our relationship allowed it, and I took advantage of the privilege. You walked it out, I talked it out

The rest of our conversation was a blur,
I mean really we weren’t together, never made a commitment – but for me it was unspoken love you knew how I felt and I was all about letting it be.
What ever I could do to be there for and with you, I was down
Regardless of the circumstance, you knew I had ya back
Now the question is, will you take advantage of that?

So after a few moments of conversation, finally the words tumbled forth, “So if I messed with someone else, would you be mad?”
I know I am always on the road and I am not always there – but in the end I’m always THERE
I mean what could I say to that, you have to be the arbiter of your actions.
I can’t make you do more or less than you want to do.
So after a moment . . . . . .
after the smoke cleared and the pre-tears returned to the deep part of my tear ducts.
After my heart jumped and dropped and skipped and I caught my breath,
after I checked myself to see what was wrong with me
After I considered being “regular” and just hanging around just to be with you
After wondering if I flew there right now to look you in your eyes would things be a little different
After I reassured myself that I was ok.
After I thought about putting in a little extra time at the gym so I could get just a little bit tighter
After all that – I said simply NO.
I let you know that I thought that we were deeper than that and that regardless of what happens with us I am there for you.
But I can not play second chair
I have to be the me that I am and love you from afar,
it’ll hurt me to see you with him
Still I’ll love you, though you’ll grow to see that truly me
Well, I am irreplaceable.

In Search of a Good Cut

2007-03-16T09:47:00.000-04:00

Well as any African American man knows, wherever you travel for an extended period of time – finding a good barber is important. So since I had been on the ground in Philadelphia, I had been on the lookout for a great barbershop.

When I was younger, I remember my barber Hakim was from Philadelphia and all he could talk about was the famous “Philly Fade”.

So here I was in the home of the fade (so to speak) in search of a good haircut. I had been asking around for weeks and everyone had a different opinion of who was best and where to go. The interesting thing here is that Asian-Americans had even gotten in on the action. As much as I have traveled, I had not been to or seen a Korean or Vietnamese Barber Shop for Black Folk but in Philadelphia one was there. I was quite interested to see how a cut would turn out but after thinking about it for about a minute I decided to be adventurous some other time.

Well, after trolling around online and asking, I finally came up with a shop called Pretty Boyzz. Now I am sure that you may think that the name attracted me because I am a Kappa but I was attracted because it seemed well put together. So I decided to go.

First the shop was a good 20-30 minutes from where I was staying in a predominantly affluent African-American area called Mount Airy. I took the drive passing briefly passing Temple University. It brought back some memories of college and the thought that I need to go back to school. In some ways I really miss formal education.

Anyway, when I arrived at the shop I was able to park right in front of the door. I was serviced by the first barber there who took my jacket and explained that the procedure was to wash the hair of each client before the hair service. OK, I thought I can get into this. So he is washing away and scrubbing for quite a while and finally after I am almost asleep he wakes me to get my cut.

Now the cut was pretty good but the interesting thing was not the cut but the fact that he was so gentle with my head, I didn’t know weather he was making love to my head or cutting it! Usually (as brothers know) when you get a cut, barbers grab your head and almost give you whiplash! That’s just what I am used to. But dude took his take and faded every corner of my hair. Go figure!

Nevertheless, I got my first Philadelphia cut and I am mostly satisfied. I know that I am only here for a short period of time but you know a brother has to be tight wherever he is. Cause where I am – is where the party’s at!!

Oprah's Leadership Academy - I See The Dream

2007-03-06T10:42:00.000-05:00

I am so full right now. I am full of life and love and of appreciation of everything that I have and every experience that I have employed.

I have just finished watching the ABC Special about the opening of Oprah Winfrey’s Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa and I cannot tell you how many times that I cried. I cried tears of joy and happiness for each and every young girl that was there. I cried for those that were not able to attend the school. I cried for those that could not cry. But most of all I cried for all of the students right here in America who did not have the wherewithal to appreciate such a gift as education.

A few years ago, a friend of my mother was selected as a Fulbright Fellow and spent several years teaching in Zimbabwe. Having been a veteran teacher in the United States her experience with the sons and daughters of Africa was unique to say the least. I remember her saying that when she walked into the room to teach the class that the students would already be there waiting and would stand at their seats until she gave them leave to sit. They would refer to her as honored professor. There was no such thing as back talk or disciplinary action and these students didn’t have to worry about dress code violations because they all wore uniforms. It was euphoria for a teacher and these students were ready and willing to learn.

She then returned to the United States and tried to teach again. It was true culture shock. The title honored professor was replaced by “bitch”. Students dressed properly turned into young ladies looking more prepared for a rap video that for learning. Instead of coming in eager, students acted as if they were doing her a favor coming to class. Definitely, it was culture shock. The students in Zimbabwe were thirsting for knowledge and the students here were not.

Since Oprah opened her school, I have heard comments like why didn’t she give that money to an American school or open an academy here. I can answer that. The truth is most American students probably wouldn’t appreciate it. Not all students of course. I am sure that there are those that would benefit and appreciate Oprah’s generosity. But there are other programs in place here. How many American students these days have to walk miles and travel hours just to get to school? Then take the trek back home to take care of household duties and younger siblings all while maintaining an exceptional grade point average. NONE! This is why in some ways education is more important to people who have to work much harder for it.

As an actor and a journalist, I appreciate the careers that all of the young ladies have chosen. I appreciate all that Oprah has done and it has inspired me to make sure that African and African-American boys everywhere understand their responsibilities and have opportunities to realize their potential.

Commune

2007-01-29T18:01:00.000-05:00

I was really reading some of the things that I have written and this was something that inspired me to love me even more. Take the time to commune with you. I guess that today is one of those days that I need to just fold into myself and rely on the strength that I know is there.
Enjoy!

Most things I do by myself,
Because myself understands me.
Only in the solace of my time, can I be assured that all I utter is the truth.
I commune
With me from morning ‘til noon
And as the day progresses society consumes.
A mere whisper and a frolic in the dust of redemption
Gives flight to infinite possibilities,
So I commune with me . . . .

Back to the World!

2007-01-27T09:34:00.000-05:00

Hello Blogworld! I am back! It has been so long since I have had a chance to share my life and experiences and you know what, I missed it way more than I thought that I would.

All of the emails and calls are appreciated. Now, I am raring to go with so much to talk about. So here goes.

First, even though I am an actor and actually manage to work on the regular – I still need a “real” job. So I have been a marketing and promotions consultant for some time now. Well the company that I have been consulting with for some time has asked me to handle operations in Philadelphia to get the market up to speed. Of course that was not in my plans but you have to go where God leads and it seems as though all roads are leading to PA. It is only a temporary special assignment so I will be traveling to Florida and LA frequently. I am sure that those jaunts will be filled with so many things to write about.

I am so ready for 2007! Ready to a fault I think. Look at the number this year holds the date 7/7/7! That is completion, if I do say so myself. That is why this year is about stepping into destiny! Last year was about being taught and prepared and this year is about action.

Each year I send out a New Year’s Letter at the beginning of the year as my personal tradition. I think that each one of us needs our own traditions so that we can leave our mark on society. My letter this year spoke of the destiny that is prepared for us. It’s only up to us to make the difference. I accept the challenge.

This year I have also started dating again. It’s not that I had really stopped before but I really have focused so much time on my career until dating really fell by the wayside. It’s like I woke up one morning and I was thirty! I don’t wont to end up at forty-five with a two year old child to my credit. I can almost hear the conversation now. “Daddy I want to go outside and play ball”. “Ball, man call one of ya cousins my knees hurt”! Seriously, I don’t care how old I am – I know I would make a great father. But if I don’t start developing some serious roots soon – then that will be me.

Anyway, from the Obama and Clinton Presidential bids to Forrest Whittaker and fashion trends – I plan to report comment and just plain blog. Thank you for inspiring me. I look forward to hearing all that you have to say. Still, the Me that I AM!!

Yo Blog World I'm Back/Rachelle Farrell is On Point

2006-11-27T12:25:00.000-05:00

Hey blog world, I’m back! What you want me to do I’m sorry. Now show me what you got!

Yeah, yeah. I've gotten the e-mails, I've heard all the hating and I'm so sorry it's been such a long time since I've had a chance to actually sit down and blog but I'm happy to be at it again. There have been so many things that I’ve wanted to talk about and things that happen all over the world and in my community and my life so I've got a lot of catching up to do.

First, the shooting of the Senior Citizen in Atlanta. I could not believe that officers shot and killed a 92-year-old woman who was alone in her house. I know older relatives of mine who still have guns. Those relatives I'm sure would have done the same thing that that she did if someone broke into their house in the middle of the night yelling. In some way there seems to be some drugs that were sold from her home earlier that day but it didn't merit the force that was used to enter the house. In fact I believe that the detectives should have investigated the surroundings before making the decision to enter the house. They claimed they had no knowledge that the an 92 year old woman lived there. This is evidence that they didn't do their homework! What's more interesting is that it seems really odd to me that when animals are on the loose we tranquilize them but when Law Enforcement is dealing with people we use deadly force and ask questions later. Something to ponder.

This brings me to my next topic the fiancé that was gunned down in New York. I can't really comment on that story right now until I get all the facts but more and more it looks as if the police have again made a mistake.

Finally, I had a chance to hang out with jazz and R&B wonder Rachelle Farrell. She gave an amazing show at the Ritz Theatre and LaVilla Museum in Jacksonville. Truly her voice is the first instrument and she is one of the most beautiful and intelligent women I have ever met in my life. Since hearing her rich voice I have been a fan of her music and his sensibility. I even love her unique high-pitched laugh which gives her childlike innocence. After the show I had a chance to hang out with Rachelle and really talk to her. I can say for sure that she is on stage just like she is offstage -- DYNAMIC!

There have been so many things that have been floating around in my mind so trust me I'm back and I'll make sure that they are here on my little space in the world. Again, my heartfelt thanks to you for continuing to read my musings.

Light!

To Tell The Truth - A John Kerry Story

2006-11-03T08:18:00.000-05:00

Why should John Kerry apologize? Personally, I think he has no reason to apologize to anyone for anything.

Obviously this election season has been quite interesting. The Democrats are close to regaining control of both of the U.S. House and the Senate. They have been sending their top dogs to campaign all over the country. Recently in a speech Pennsylvania Senator John Kerry was quoted as saying, "education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and make an effort to be smart, you do well, if you don't you get stuck in Iraq".

This one simple comment has caused a maelstrom of both criticism and distance from Democrats and Republicans alike. This has got to stop now!

Talk show host, Don Imus even commented that John Kerry was about to lose it for the Democrats again.

Do people not understand underlying meanings? Obviously not. What the senator was saying is that the President did not do his homework. Had the President done his homework and looked into possible situations that could occur after invading Iraq, he would have had some type of idea on the kind of insurgent issues that would come with occupation. Further, he would've known how to deal with issues of weapons of mass destruction that didn't exist. In fact he would have known how to help the Republicans control the House and Senate and gain some decent approval ratings. But like John Kerry said, he didn't do his homework!

John Kerry should not apologize because when you don't do your homework you don't succeed and you get stuck in a situation with no exit strategy.

I support the soldiers in Iraq. I have friends who are serving there right now and who believe in their country and believe in the democratic freedoms that we enjoy in the in the United States but they do not believe in the premise of the war. The statement that was made by John Kerry first of all has nothing to do with the soldiers that are serving but has everything to do with their Commander-in-Chief. For those that listen to the spin that the Bush administration has put on Kerry's statements, it makes me think that they have no idea of what's going on in the world.

Katharine Hepburn once said, "how can I take NO from someone who is not qualified to tell me YES"? Her quote is so applicable to the situation. The president took John Kerry's words and twisted them to fit his audience. Nothing that Senator Kerry stated was remotely derogatory to the soldiers in Iraq.

This weekend will be truly a telling situation. It's time for a change and Republicans have had quite a while to make a difference and not a mess. It’s time to straighten out the mess and get America back on the right track.

Florida-Georgia Weekend: Wet and Wild

2006-10-27T14:28:00.000-04:00

Well, as most people in the free world know (especially those from the south) this week Jacksonville hosts the annual Florida Georgia weekend. This is the time when the football teams of University of Florida and the University of Georgia square off for bragging rights and all night parties. The game always happens around Halloween every year and the local Fair comes to town. But the antics that happen around the Florida Georgia weekend are something to behold.

The game and the parties are always known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party! I think it should aptly be renamed, THE WORLDS LARGEST GATHERING OF DRUNK REDNECKS WHO ARE WILLING TO HOLD CONVERSATONS WITH ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN AND WANT TO GET NECKED AND WET AT A MOMENTS NOTICE!

I have a love-hate relationship with the game. Number one I enjoy football but the city goes into gridlock every year. Number two people can be fun except for the fact that open container laws are suspended for outdoor activities during Florida-Georgia weekend and this rarely happens when schools like Florida A&M University, Southern University or Bethune Cookman College come to town. Quite often I believe that it is a double standard. But again, the antics are truly off the chain.

So against my better judgment one of my partners, INFINITI, called and told me he was going out that night and I should tag along. I thought about it and decided my Thursday night was pretty clear so I went and I'm still laughing today.

First we ended up at downtown spots - Mark’s, TSI, and The Dive Bar. These were supposedly the hot spots and a lot of the Florida and Georgia fans were already there and drunk. Again, with no open container laws in place for the weekend, they were all outside having a ball. That's where the interesting night started.

Mark’s was supposed to be an upscale joint and for the most part it was. I guess you could call it a watering hole for the high class and the want to be high-class. The DJ wasn’t the best but he wasn’t bad either. Anybody who can mix David Bowie's Let's Dance with Will Smith's Get Jiggy Wit It deserves some kind of praise!

Now those of us who have friends that are Caucasian know that once they get a beer or heaven forbid some liquor in them, things become a whole new territory. I met a guy there named Christian. This guy was interesting and I will have you know that he spent 30 minutes trying to apologize to me for slavery! At one point, I thought he was going to cry and offer to be my slave! He went on to tell me about all the black friends that he'd had during his life and he even wrote his number down and began giving it to black people in the club saying, “Call me let's hang out sometimes, I'm cool”. Had I not been there witnessing this with my own two eyes I wouldn’t have believed one word of a story like this. Even as I left, trying to get away from the apologetic white man, he continued to apologize for the perils of slavery. I thought unless you are going to give me back pay right now – get the heck on!

So I go down the block to this joint called TSI. It was pretty cool except it was very dark inside and the night was called Hip-Hop Hell. Now I don't know about you but I'm not one to tempt fate, so I really didn't want to go to any place called "anything- hell". Once I got inside I saw a couple of rappers that I knew. It was pretty cool. I even bought a CD from DJ Therapy (he’s mad on the wheels of steel). I can't wait to check it out. But it was so dark inside and there were these spinning red lights on the wall. Ominous, huh? So I decided however to stay for moment and all of a sudden as I turned to my right, there was a white guy sitting there with locks, yes dreadlocks! But that wasn’t the interesting part. His face was completely deformed and melded into a weird shape. It was obvious there was some kind of cleft palate issue but at that exact moment when I turned to him it looked like a demon was staring back at me! Mind you the place had hell in the title – needless to say DADDY WAS OUT! Yep no offense but I was out.

Finally, I ended up at the Jacksonville Landing. It's a mall on the riverfront where people hang out and all of the Florida Georgia fans congregate during the weekend. In usual form, everyone there was drunk. Not just regular drunk, NO staggering piss drunk!

Club Paris, which is in the venue, had a Halloween party. Truthfully I don't know what the white girls are drinking in these days but there were some that were fine as all get out. (I still love my
sistahs tho!) All of there costumes were seriously skimpy and of course breast flashing was the activity of the night. But I digress.

Now in the center of the landing there is a fountain that spouts water about 10 feet in the air. Well, something told one of the Georgia girls to go jump in the fountain and get completely wet. Now far be it from me to tell her to stop because she was making a fool out of herself. In the end the joke was on me. I pulled out my phone to take a picture of her in the fountain, she saw me smiled started screaming loudly and came over to me and before I could move she gave me the biggest hug. she could muster. Her wetness was all over me. I wasn't completely drenched but my entire ensemble was ruined because of this frolicking, friendly, country nymph! I laughed and even had a few other conversations but it was a done deal for me.

The night ended with a tirade from a drunk that I luckily got on tape. Thank goodness for the video camera phones. He was crazy as they come.

Now don't get me wrong, I love to have a good time but that was overkill. I'm having a party tonight at the Leopard Lounge and hosting another one on Sunday at the Ocean Club. If the Florida-Georgia fans show up, I know I'm in for something crazy. The one thing I do know however, is that there is no water spout there, so hopefully things will be okay.

I’m off.

*To new slave boy* - “Now come boy, carry these packages”!

Al Washington - Remembering A Great Man

2006-10-25T16:04:00.000-04:00

Daddy
a poem for Al Washington

(written after seeing Tim Burton's Big Fish)

Daddy, you was an enigma
wrapped in a riddle at the crux of a lie
So for you I cry.

You were my should and my couldn’t, my never would be and all that I was
Looking toward you for the answers,
The truth came wrapped in gold upon a bed of silk
Societal expectation had retrained my mind to seek much less.
I love that which I knew and longed for that which I knew not

You was my baba
Your lessons began in a story and ended in the truth
A truth that I was often too young to understand, and even now I find myself pondering your words for revelation
There was some of me in you and some of you in me,
I ran from the me that I was destined to be.

Without reservation . . . I loved you still

Those who you love, I loved too not knowing why
And the secrets that you held close were the mysteries of your untold generosity and the extent of your unconditional love.

I loved you for being with me
I hated your for leaving me way too soon
You were way too young
And though you are not here, you watch me still
Your stories make me laugh, still –
You live, still – within me, through your stories, by your tales
My Daddy,
My Angel –
MY TRUTH!

Maddona and Malawi: Trapped in Transition

2006-10-23T18:52:00.000-04:00

So the story is out, Madonna plans to go on Oprah tomorrow to talk about the baby that she adopted from Malawi. Why is everyone all up in arms about Madonna adopting David Banda?

I understand what many people are saying about the fact that Madonna has money and therefore privilege and was able to side step the system but she's helping a young boy in need. In fact, according to her she has been on this quest privately for more than a year. Madonna helped the country of Malawi by building hospitals and orphanages and has vowed to be a benefactor to this impoverished nation. She has put her money where her mouth is.

Why does everyone want her to take the child back? Back to poverty, sickness and very little education. Like Anjolina Jolie, Madonna has promised to ensure that the baby knows of his Malawian roots. She has vowed to take him back to the country and hopes to be even more beneficent to the people there. She even sat with his father Yohane during the adoption court procedures.

Nevertheless, people from all over the world are speaking out and saying that she shouldn't have taken this boy from his surroundings.

I look at the possibility and the opportunities that exist. In doing research, I discovered that this boy's two other brothers both died of malaria his mother also died leaving his widowed father to fin for the family alone. The father not knowing anything else put the baby in an orphanage and though he visited him frequently he knew that a better life existed if the child was adopted. In fact, the father even tried to get other relatives in Zambia and neighboring villages to take the boy but no one was interested. Now, that an international superstar has stepped in to help – everyone has something to say.

Young David will be well-educated about his country and the ways of the west, he will be cared for as Madonna's own son and optimistically he will go back as an educated son of Malawi to help that country realize its full potential. More than an adoption this is opportunity.

This is somewhat personal for me, because one of my goals is to adopt a child from an African nation, as my own. This charge on my life was prompted by an article I read in Essence magazine. The article told of one young girl who at age 12 was taking care all of her younger brothers and sisters because her entire family had been wiped out by HIV-AIDS. Here in America, if something tragic happens to a child’s family, there are a great deal of services and programs to help that child into maturity. These things don't exist in Africa. I wonder if when I'm financially and emotionally ready to adopt a child whether I will go to the same struggles as Madonna.

I hope that when Madonna goes on the Oprah Winfrey Show, people see her as a caring loving woman who wants to give love to the world. Even the boy's father was initially accepting of his son going to the west. Now these so-called human rights groups have poisoned the father into questioning his decision.

It's not so bad that this child has a chance to transcend his surroundings and truly be a citizen of the world. If no one else is stepping up to the plate then get out of the way and allow this boy to experience his destiny.

A Few Days Away, More Lessons Learned

2006-10-22T13:25:00.000-04:00

It has been a few days since I've had the chance to blog. So thanks for all the love to everyone who sent e-mails and gave phone calls wondering where the heck I was!

The last few days have been pretty cool. Nothing really major -- just the usual. But you know life for me has never been usual!

I had an audition this week that went pretty well. While I was at the production facility, I had a chance to hang out with the receptionist which was an interesting situation. Quite often, I meet people we begin to talk and it is as if we have known each other forever. She was telling me about some of the things that she had experienced as far as love was concerned in the past year or so. The key thing that she said, was that only when she decided to let go and just allow her life to evolve, did she really experience true love and a fulfillment in life. I think that's a lesson for all of us. We often forget that “it is all” predestined. So do what you must but don’t sweat it.

Since I had been on the road for bit and was extremely busy, I had not had time to go get a hair cut. I used to cut my hair myself, especially when I did the bald thing. But right now, a trip to the barbershop was extremely necessary. As usual, my boy FRESHCUTZ always makes sure that the hair is on point. Unfortunately, my barbershop is located in a major shopping mall. Now the good thing about this is – that you can go put your name on the list and go to the mall to shop! The bad thing about this is – you can go put your name on the list and go to the mall to shop! The receptionist calls you when you are up. Needless to say, I had to hit up the mall for a few post summer sales.

I wish that more people could see the finer points of ensemble coordination. Just because something is on a mannequin does not mean that you need to wear it all together – at the same time! Old Navy can be hot when mixed with couture. Open your mind and use some style. But we’ll get to an etiquette and style blog later.

Anyway, FRESHCUTZ called me on the cell and I made my way back to the shop. While I was getting my cut, a dude came in with a mohawk. Now it's hard to explain this mohawk and I tried to secretly take a picture of this mess but couldn't. He had on some TOO TIGHT Capri Jeans, a pair of Chuck’s and a shirt that came just above his navel and looked painted on. Need I say more! FRESHCUTZ of course cannot control himself and is snorting and laughing like he is about to bust a gasket. Now the dude’s mohawk was as knotty as yak mane. So FRESHCUTZ whispers, “Damn what the hell is that, a FRO-HAWK?”! I did my laughing got my fresh cut and was out. The barbershop is always an experience.

After picking up a few more things I didn’t need (mostly gifts), I hopped by Starbucks for a Decaf Grande Extra Hot Soy Cappuccino. When I walked in I was stopped by a young cutie. She was with other friends but quizzed me about my phone. This Dolce Gabbana Razr gets me more play than I know what to do with but I am not complaining. Then in walks these two high school chicks in 70’s hippie gear -- complete with wigs and all! Of course I had to take a pic! Do I remember those high school days? Damn, it was sooooo long ago.

The day was close to ending but one of my boys had just moved to the state was having a house warming and I promised to get by. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to get and give gifts. I think that it is important to give not just any gifts but gifts that are thoughtful, intelligent and unique. Sometimes the stuff I give can be off the hook. This monstrosity that I put together featuring raffia, a wicker basket wineglasses and a great bottle of White Zen was one of my best. When I delivered the gift, I was planning only to stay a few moments. Being more than fashionably late, when I arrived - the party was over. Well my man and his crew wanted to hit the clubs. Since he didn’t know the area very well, I was asked to be the “entertainment host” of the night. I obliged.

As usual, the club scene was what it was – THE CLUB SCENE. I am really over that part of my life even though I still can throw a tight soirée! During the night, a few phone numbers came my way but truly they held no interest for me.

Interestingly enough though I met a beautiful young lady from Long Island and our conversation melded from social issues to politics to living in Los Angeles. Most New Yorkers are really cosmopolitan and her conversation proved that point. In fact, she made my night! In modern trend, we exchanged email addresses and vowed to keep in contact.

I suppose that I'm getting older, I mean the club was fun and don't get me wrong I can still mess them up on the dance floor but social interaction and meaningful conversations hold much more for me than who can “make that thang hop”. It was a good night and even though I reminisced fondly upon my every week club hopping days, I am glad that they are over or at least are few and far between.

The ME THAT I WAS – was awesome.
The ME THAT I AM –Reigns supreme. I look forward to – THE ME THAT I WILL BECOME!

Denny's Is Bad - But The Day Was Good

2006-10-19T13:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, yesterday was one of those I got a blog about it days. It was truly unexpectedly eventful!

One of the good things about living in Florida is the fact that usually the weather stays around 80 or so degrees. Yesterday was no exception. I know that all of my friends in the Northeast and Midwest are hatin right about now but my doors in Florida are always open to you. Tank tops and flip-flops! You know how we do.

Nevertheless, yesterday was pretty dreary and it rained a lot so once I finished some of the administrative stuff that I had to do I decided to treat myself to breakfast at Denny's. So since it was raining cats and dogs, of course I had to walk into the coldest Denny's on earth. I swear the thermostat that must've been set at 40 and I was seated right in front of a vent. So I sat there and I sat there and I sat there and I sat there some more. In total I sat there at this restaurant for 45 minutes and still no one came over to offer me a piece of ice. I was livid!

What was even more surprising is that even on my worst days, I do stay pretty well put together. Today was no exception. However other white patrons that were grungy looking were served and even offered beverages prior to me even being questioned. So I left and called the manager of the Denny's who happen to be African-American. All that she said was, “I'm sorry, what can I do, let me check on that”. Now being that I am a former elected office holder in my city and don't like to see people disrespected in any way, I had half a mind to go back inside and open up a major can of whip-ass and pull out my best Jesse Jackson meets Al Sharpton. But keeping with better judgment I decided to keep it rolling and resolved to write a letter later.

Since I hadn't eaten I was somewhat cranky so I decided to go to one of those buffets to get some fresh veggies and a salad. Now this usually isn't my speed but it was cool because I knew one of the waiters that worked there. He was from Haiti so it gave me a chance to work on my Creole while having a pretty healthy lunch.

Of course I really wasn't in the mood for conversation, but while I was there I got a phone call from my agent. I had booked a commercial that I had yet to be paid for and she was telling me that I was going to get paid well below the fee that I usually receive. Now I have worked hard to get to the point where I am in my career so I expect to be paid for what I do. I had to make sure that my agent understood that. So again, I was forced to again regulate.

After then call, a brother who was having lunch there as well came by my table.
“Excuse me”, he said. “I don’t mean to be rude but you look familiar and I heard you say something about acting on your phone call”. Of course, I was a little shocked at first. What’s up with checking out my call? But he seemed mad cool and just had a few questions about the industry. So he joined me, I gave him some pointers and finished my lunch with great conversation.

Truthfully, I had no reason to be at that restaurant yesterday but it goes back to my belief and mantra – “I am where I am supposed to be”. I had a healthy meal, I was able to give some information to someone who really needed it. Someone who will probably use that information to become successful. Yesterday was one of those days, strangely productive and enlightening.

Sammie Lee Davis - One Grand Man

2006-10-18T09:21:00.000-04:00

I recently went to the funeral of a relative and it was one of the most amazing events that I've ever attended. I'd never thought I would see the day I was happy to attend a funeral but I was.

My uncle Sammy Lee Davis, L.F.D. was really not my uncle, he was my grandfather's first cousin but he has always been close to the family. At 90 years old he was one of the oldest living members of the family but he was still the grand man that he has always been. Since the age of 14, he had been involved in the funeral industry. As a matter of fact he was one of the top embalmers in Florida. He was truly a legend. Although his formal education was in Mortuary Science, he was also one of the finest musicians in the state. Many soloists requested his skills even though he never had a formal day of musical training.

As a kid I remember going to Uncle Sammy Lee's house was always fun because he was a great cook and was just cool to be around (for an old guy). He had five kids and was married for too many years to count to his wife Inez (she passed on in 2002). Even though I was just a little child he was really good to me. What is most prolific about him was the fact that he loved to dress. Anytime that he stepped out of his house, he was coordinated from head to toe. Hats, socks shoes and all were always tight!

He had recently moved back to Jacksonville after living with one of his children in Palm Beach. I was happy that he was back here it would give me a chance to see him when I was in town. So the day after he moved into his new senior care facility, I was there. We hung out and talked for hours. You would think at 90 years old and this guy might forget some things but he had a better memory than me. In fact I called several older relatives on my cell so that he could speak with them and he spoke to them reminiscing about old times and talking about getting together again.

Little did I know, less than a week later he'd be gone.

I really wasn't sad when I was told that he had passed away, because I knew he lived a full life. And I knew just having seen him, how happy he really was. But the funeral was classic Uncle Sammy!

The services were pretty normal lasting only about an hour. But afterwards was when the pomp and circumstance began. Waiting outside of the church was a glass carriage with velvet draped upon the windows. The carriage was drawn by two coal black stallions. This was how he was to be transported to his final resting place! The cortège traveled behind the stallions and the coffin for more than 20 miles to an exclusive cemetery near downtown. On the trip many onlookers even came outside their homes to look and see what was going on. Truly it was a procession to behold and just like him, it was -- GRAND!

When we arrived at the cemetery, he was gingerly transported to a mausoleum then in a beautiful ceremony befitting a head of state the entombment procedures began. In a final salute, two white doves were presented to the family. Each family member was asked to whisper something to the dove as a final good-bye to Uncle Sammie. The doves were then thrown into the air and they circled in a choreographed dance. At the same time a shout was given from footman of the carriage. The coachman who stood erect in the center of the carriage and the horses took off galloping away in full speed as the carriage driver tipped his hat in the final salute. With that the birds flew straight up into the air and disappeared from sight.

Just as he lived his life, Uncle Sammy made death an event. His funeral was full of laughter, great stories and people reminiscing about a great and loving man. He died softly in his sleep and that was befitting for him. He went out like he lived . . . with style!

Def Comedy Jam - Keepin' Em Laughin

2006-10-17T23:28:00.000-04:00

It has come back to life. Def Comedy Jam has returned to the airwaves (a few weeks ago).

Back in 1992, no one ever thought that a revolution was about to come to television. Saturday Night Live was in control for comedy even though quite often the show wasn’t even funny. Still Lorne Michaels had the audiences tuning in every Saturday Night to laugh. But Russell Simmons was an innovator. He had an idea and a vision. He pulled in friends like Stan Lathan and Def Comedy Jam was born.

Who would've thought that televising some of the raunchiest, boldest and up-and-coming comedians would really be one of the shows that put HBO Original Programming on the map? But Simmons knew and his formula was a success.

I remember at 14 or 15 years old sneaking up in the middle of the night to creep into the den so I could turn on HBO and see Def Comedy Jam. Like most of us, I wasn't supposed to be watching the show. But, I knew that if I didn't watch everyone at school would know what was going on and I wouldn't. So it was a must. I guess my parents know now! It was the forbidden thing to do but it always kept me in stitches, even though sometimes I had no idea what the comedians were talking about.

This show launched the careers of some of the great ones. I remember a story that was told by Bernie Mac. You remember his catchphrase that took the country by storm, "I ain't scared of you mother fu#$#&(^*". That tirade really wasn’t planned. It came about because someone in the crowd was heckling the comedians and had booed someone off the stage. Mac refused to be booed and made history!

Since we (African-Americans) arrived in this country, we have had to use laughter to keep from crying. Whether it was the fact that we were underrepresented in government or that our children were disproportionately murdered. Maybe that we were used for government experiments or couldn't get a decent job after fighting along with White Soldiers in wars – laughter was the best medicine. From Pearl Bailey and Moms Mabley to Adele Givens and Sommore the tradition continues.

I was happy to see that Russell Simmons brought Def Comedy Jam back after such a long hiatus. Maybe for me the luster is gone since I can legally watch it and not worry if my parents will get up and catch me. Aries Spears is funny as is Arnaz J. and the rest of the crew but Mike Epps will never be Martin Lawrence and Chris Tucker's antics can never be repeated. I appreciate Def Comedy Jam and the impact it has made on American life. And even though the comedians have made me laugh, the new Def Comedy Jam ain’t what it was.

Nevertheless, we have to thank Russell Simmons for continuing to push the envelope and reminding us that sometimes to get by -- we just gotta laugh!

Looking for the King of Scotland

2006-10-15T21:19:00.000-04:00

Okay so here is, I have a love hate relationship with my city. I spent most of the day looking forward to going to the movies tonight. I worked out at the gym, ate right and made sure that everything was on point so that I could go check out a movie.

When I went to fandango.com to buy my tickets, it (my movie) wasn’t there.

So I had to ask myself, was it my city or was it the movie? I wanted to see was The Last King of Scotland, about Ugandan Dictator Idi Amin starring Forest Whitaker. I'm hearing that this movie is already getting some Oscar buzz so I was really looking forward to putting my two cents in. We'll obviously that didn't work out.

That's why I spend so much time on the road. I like to be able to bask in culture at all levels. Sometimes living here makes me think I am not in the real world. But then again I love this place it's a place away from the rat race that is the “real-world”. I guess because I'm a Gemini the dichotomy of a place like Jacksonville is attractive to me.

Since I had planned to go to the movies tonight, I'm not quite sure what I'll do yet. Maybe The Grudge 2? Maybe Jackass 2? I know I want to see Man of the Year but I wasn't planning on seeing it tonight. By the way is it just me or does Robin Williams really need some Prozac – but I digress.

Even though for me last night was one of those "I need a Mary J. Blige song" days, today has been pretty uneventful. You know what I might just have to settle for old trusty Law & Order. It's always there when you need it.

Lil' Kim Is Off The Chain Gangsta

2006-10-12T00:36:00.000-04:00

When I speak of Lil’ Kim you probably think I’m talking about recently released Hip-Hop hottie and self proclaimed Queen B but she is tame compared to Kim Jong Il, the Premier of North Korea.

At 5’3, he is arguably one of the shortest leaders in the world. It's reported that he wears platform shoes to make him seem taller. Maybe that has something to do with the reason that he feels the need to show his might by testing nuclear weapons.

Korea, a communist country, is one of the poorest and most impoverished nations on the earth. Quite often citizens lie dying in the street with no food or potable water but the Premier is known to regularly have fresh lobster flown in to him. He constantly lives in luxury while his people suffer.

When I woke up the other morning watching CNN and discovered that Kim Jong Il had tested a nuclear weapon I was horrified. In a manner of speaking, it almost spells the beginning of the end of world peace as we know it.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with nations defending themselves and making sure that their capabilities are up to par. However a race to arms is one of the things that pulled the world into the last two world wars. Even if the North Korean government could develop an advanced nuclear weapon, their long range missile capabilities are limited and it would not reach the United States before was destroyed. So why provoke the world?

In the words of Malcolm X., "it seems almost as if the chickens have come home to roost". Our government has spent countless resources and a great deal of time in Iraq searching for weapons of mass destruction. To this day there have been no weapons of mass destruction found or evidence of any nuclear capabilities in Iraq. The invasion of Iraq was supposed to prevent an international incident. Now because of paying close attention to one threat and not enough attention to another, the problem of a rogue state having a nuclear arsenal is a real threat.

Even more disturbing is the fact that North Korea could sell these capabilities to other states that really should not have this type of technology. That is the major problem.

Even on a more basic level what irks me is the fact that soon after the nuclear test several earthquakes were felt off the coast of Korea. Do you not think underground nuclear testing had something to do with the seismic activity?

Even further still, quite often I feel as though there’s a double standard when it comes to the United States reaction to issues in different countries. I mean look at Iraq. The United States went in to rid that the country of a dictator and establish democracy. Yet right now the entire region is in chaos and Iraq itself is involved in Civil War. In the case of North Korea we not only have a dictator and an impoverished country but also evidence of nuclear capability. However because of the fear of China we won’t do anything but impose sanctions on this country that could push the world into World War III.

The solution to this problem is to ensure that China stop supporting North Korea at all costs. North Korea must be prevented from selling this technology to terrorist organizations. These types of issues can prove disastrous for the world unless it is immediatley brought to a halt.

This is only round one of a saga that will play out over months and months. It is almost sad that the new Secretary-General of the United Nations will have to start his tenure with this kind of cloud hanging over his head.

It’s all because a small man, in a small country is having delusions of grandeur. I’ll say it again, Lil’ Kim is off the chain!

Monica - The Makings of Me

2006-10-09T14:29:00.000-04:00

She is back and back with a vengeance. Monica returns after a hiatus with a smooth effort that is not getting a great deal of love but it is truly full of surprises. It’s been three years since she has recorded a studio album but her life experiences have made her sound all the richer.

It’s hard to believe that this sexy siren has been in the music business for fifteen years. She was discovered by Dallas Austin who put her in front of Clive Davis and the rest was history.

In the last few years, she endured the suicide of her fiancé, becoming a mother and dealing with the disorder Micro-valve Prolapse (a condition which occurs when the mitral heart valve swells and does not close properly, letting blood return into the left atrium).

Nevertheless, through all of that she comes through with The Makings of Me. This is her best and definitely most “grown up” release to date.

This album featured super producers Jermaine Dupri and Missy Elliott and a few other hot producers. One of the tightest tracks on the LP is Dozen Roses (The Makings of You). This Missy produced track contains a sample of the Curtis Mayfield song the Makings of You. This track is a fresh look at the past and gives a smooth spin to love.

Being from Atlanta, she had to put some “crunk” on her album and she does it with the first release Every Time the Beat Drop featuring Dem Franchise Boys. It is the going to the club gotta get right track of the season.

Monica says that this is her most personal LP to date.

“I was able to share my journal and poems with some of the producers on this project and they made this happen for me”, she said in a recent interview.

Her favorite track on this album is called Sideline Ho. The track, she admits will probably not be a single due to the extreme lyrics, talks about the other woman in a relationship.

“People who have been in relationships and have gone through these things understand the pain that this causes in a relationship. The record was about me being in a relationship years ago and somebody just disrespected to the fullest”, said Monica.

Monica’s Makings of Me is a must have for any music lovers collection. She has truly grown into her self and her vocal prowess and mature lyrics prove it. She seems to have a calm otherworldly serenity about her and this means that Monica is only just starting to reveal her unlimited potential.

Mark Foley: What Was He Thinking/Time for Change

2006-10-05T20:57:00.000-04:00

By now the news has been reported and re-reported about Mark Foley.

But seriously, what the hell was he thinking.

I live in Florida and have been pretty involved in political circles around the state. And the fact that Mark Foley was gay was pretty much common knowledge. It came up the last time that he was preparing to run for the U.S. Senate and it didn’t really seem to bother many people. I know that seems like a shock for many since he is a Republican but the rule was “we won’t ask and you don’t tell”. So it was under wraps, until it was revealed that he liked to talk dirty to little boys.

First, I am appalled that Foley got his rocks off conversing with and looking at pictures of young boys. I think that most people could care less who he slept with or if he came out but it is the fact that he had sexual conversations with a child that is the issue.

When I taught Middle and High School English (in another life), for me it was an honor to be there helping to develop young minds. I can tell you for sure that I have been flirted with and “tried” more than once by students. You know how forward some students can be these days. Usually their advances ended up earning them a trip with me to the Dean’s Office. I didn’t take them there to get them into major trouble but just to protect us both and show them the severity of their actions. But even more important than that, there is NOTHING A MIDDLE OR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT CAN DO FOR ME! Sexually, emotionally and intellectually they are still zygotes. They are learning and discovering their bodies and brains. For an adult, an authority figure to take advantage of that innocence is sick.

Second, he [Foley] has now come out as being gay, revealed that his clergyman molested him as a young child and said he is an alcoholic but said that none of this is an excuse for his actions. So why did he reveal it? The answer is simple, he wanted his alcohol abuse and the homosexuality and the molestation to make reason out of insanity. That however, is impossible.

I understand that he never actually had “sexual contact” with these young pages but in a fit of irony he is the one that proposed legislation to prosecute sexual predators on the internet. Even though the blow is supposed to be softened by the fact that he never had relations with the kids it doesn’t make his acts any less dastardly.

Finally, the leadership of the House and the Justice Department should be ashamed at the fact that this issue has only started to be investigated fully. Reports state that questions were raised about Foley’s improper relationships with Pages as early as 2004. Even the advocacy group that turned over the email sent it in several months ago. What was happening during that time? Even though Republican leaders in Congress knew about the emails and IM’s they urged him to run for re-election in 2004. Not because they were solidly behind him but to keep a safe Republican Congressional seat safe. Who knows what else this investigation could reveal but it could have all been avoided had someone followed through on solidly investigating these allegations. Even though people are saying that Dennis Hastert should step down; lest we forget that Tom Delay was The Majority Leader during that time. Do you think that had any reason for this thing staying quiet for so long? Hummmm?

I am sure that if we searched a little deeper there will be more that is revealed but the sad thing is the fallout for victims of abuse, recovering alcoholics and homosexuals. Although the former Representative said that these things had nothing to do with his actions, the timing of his announcement will direct people to infer a connection.

It’s just emails and IM’s (that we know of) so I am confident that there was minimum psychological damage to the pages. They are who are most important.

And I must digress just a bit. President Clinton was impeached for not revealing specifics about sexual relations with a consenting adult. Former Representative Foley, is in rehab (we assume) and no charges of any type have been filed.

Ahh, the issue gets more transparent by the moment. And you thought you that really knew who stood for family values. Only a few weeks will tell if all of America has gotten the message that it is time for a change.

Kirk Franklin -- A Pimp (Positive Image Making Progress)

2006-09-27T10:09:00.000-04:00

It is hard to picture Kirk Franklin as anything other than a gospel music artist. From his hip-hop meets church boy demeanor to his impeccable sense of style the King of Soul Gospel says what he means and means what he says.

In the middle of the second week of his HERO tour with Mary Mary and Philadelphia based Da Truth, Kirk pulled into Jacksonville, Florida ready to rock the house.

Years ago a gospel concert consisted of a microphone, an artist, a drum set and a whole lot of shouting! However, Kirk opened a door for a new wave of showcasing gospel music. Taking the best parts of major tours including state-of-the-art sound, choreographed lighting, a mechanical stage and dancers – his show rivals some of the biggest pop and R&B artists today.

Spending more than an hour and a half on stage, he wowed the crowd of babies to seniors. Even for a man of 40 years, his enthusiasm and stamina were amazing. From his trip down memory lane with traditional gospel to his-hop personal story SHOUT, he gave everyone in his audience something relatable. That is why the beauty of Kirk Franklin and his message is so infectious.

It was a wonder that Kirk had any energy after a show like his but he was in the halls of the concert venue making jokes with fans and the crew after the show. Back here, he was just one of the boys. But his light was evident. So when, I was invited in the dressing room for our interview, it was like talking to someone I had known for years.

He had just finished his after show ritual of calling his wife and children and making sure everything was well on the home front when I entered. Sipping peppermint tea, he seemed just as home there as he did on the stage ministering to the masses. And it was me and Kirk kicking it like old friends.

Rahman Johnson: You are from the south (Texas), do you feel that your southern upbringing has really influenced your style and what you bring as a gospel artist.

Kirk Franklin: You know, it does but I think that it is more about the soul of the music. I know that growing up in the church and the choir and all of that put the soul in me and the love of God as well. That’s what I put in the music and I thank God for that.

RJ: What makes Kirk Franklin who he is? There are many doors you have opened and others who are great but what puts you where you stand?

KF: First and foremost it is God. He put within me the inspiration to be all that I am today. But I don’t see myself as greater than any other person or performer. It’s like this I look at Martin Luther and Billy Graham and others like that are links on a chain. And on God’s chain there in no link that is greater than the other. It takes all of these links to make the chain strong – I am simply just a link on the chain.

RJ: Nah, you are more than that. I know that it is God who put you where you are but your entrance onto the scene with your type of gospel makes you more than ordinary and I thank God for that because you can touch more people.

KF: Yea, you know he is the reason that I do what I do.

RJ: So I know with a concert like the one you just did, you won’t be retiring any time soon but where do you see Kirk Franklin in 45 years.

KF: Well I hope that I have slowed down a bit by then but I will still be me – probably chasing my wife Tammi on the beach somewhere!

RJ: Well we know that’s a long time off before you even talk retirement. But you know from your song SHOUT which was one of my favorite parts of the show, I see a great actor. A lot of the action in the song was portrayed on screens behind you. Do you see yourself bringing it to the big screen or maybe to television?

KF: You are the actor man, but thank you for the compliment. But, if that is what God has for me to do then I am open. We have to be ready to do what ever he needs whenever he needs it.

After spending some personal time with him, I could truly say that if anyone regardless of any reason doubted how serious Kirk was about his mission, they would be wrong. He is man on mission and God’s got his back. Like he said from 1993 – it’s about God’s Property and Kirk Franklin represents the property well.

Autumnal Equinox

2006-09-25T01:48:00.000-04:00

Saturday evening was the Autumnal Equinox. This marks the official end to the summer season.

In many ways I will miss this summer but as always look forward to the future. Now is the time to look forward to the cloak of fall and winter. Time to dismiss yesteryear and prepare my cocoon of retreat. Time to hibernate and take must needed rest to prepare for the constant journey. Time to embrace the flame and emerge unscathed as the phoenix of tomorrow.

As I look back on the summer here’s just a few things I have learned:

· Two Urban Licks- the food was good but the company was even better
· The death of my uncle – I met a new sister at his funeral; damn she’s already begging for money
· Atlanta – Metro PCS is off the chain
· The Urban League Conference has lost its luster, or did I just grow up
· It’s OK to have a memory box – yea I am a real MAN and I got one --- SO!
· 30 ain’t so bad after all – I still look good don’t I? Don’t I? Answer me???
· I think I can fall in love with Connecticut
· You mean another class reunion is on the way, we just had the last one!
· It’s almost time for a new computer
· A Mercedes Benz E500 is not a practical vehicle – but it is great to look at!
· Really, I care less what YOU think about ME . . . REALLY
· I miss my grandmamma (she died last year)
· 30 is the new 20 and when I get 40 . . . 40 will be the new 30!
· I still love Law and Order in any form
· You can never forget your first love . . . ever
· You never know where you will find a friend – just be open and available
· I knew this one but it is always reaffirmed – GOD LOVES ME

I am thankful for the me that I was and I am glad that I am The Me That I Am. Fall is allowing me to be and grow. I look forward to all that it is and is not. I at look at the past and am thankful that it is just that . . . the past!

I am headed off to the set to shoot a short film project. As usual there are always stories on set. Stay tuned for the 411!

Light!

Julius Mainor is Awesome!

2006-09-21T12:52:00.000-04:00

Julius Mainor is awesome! Some time ago, I met one of the most amazing cats in the world – Julius Mainor.

I met him about 12 years ago right after we had both graduated from high school. I had just taken my first full time gig on radio and was excited. He was just excited to be living and that is what made him amazing to me.

Julius grew up with Cerebral Palsy. Because of this debilitating disease he has spent his entire life confined to a wheelchair. He has endured painful surgeries and just living without the ability to do the things that many others take for granted. Nevertheless, Julius struggled on and was able to graduate from high school on time with excellent grades. Not withstanding the fact that he could not write one note and had to take all exams orally. Even more amazing Julius did not attend a high school for special needs students – he went to regular old Edward H. White High School. He attended school functions and parties motorized wheelchair and all!

In fact, I met him at a party that I was hosting and he was on the dance floor with one of the tightest females there. See, J was that PIMP (positive image making progress)! He would never allow a disability to make him disabled. Every concert – he was there (usually backstage as well). Every party – he opened and closed it. He knew everyone and to everyone – he was just Julius.

Since, I left town I hadn’t seen J in quite sometime. Then, at a local poetry set who pops up but Julius. We reminisced for a few about old times and he brought me up to speed on what he was up to. Since we had talked last he was living ON HIS OWN is an apartment, had a job as a youth counselor and had just completed his bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice! He had left a job as a school security officer a few years before! He told me that just as when he got his High School Diploma and Associates Degree – he actually walked down the aisle to get his degree. For him this was a challenge and he had to train for months – but he did it. He gave me his email address so that we could keep in touch and told me that he had been through a lot. All of a sudden all of my issues and problems became even more trivial. Even illness has its meters when compared to others.

When we finally talked he told me that he had been through three major surgeries in the past few years. One of the surgeries even left him completely paralyzed from the neck down for some months. The little mobility he had was gone. Doctors even told him it may not return – but Julius doesn’t believe in never!

In Julius there in an unwavering spirit of perpetual optimism. In the twelve or so years I have known him, never once has he complained or felt sorry for himself. His attitude is always can-do and will-do. We can learn a lot from my friend. Its resolve like his that brings peace and creates the unthinkable. Those of us, who don’t have to deal with debilitating conditions like this, take life for granted. To me Julius is the one who is normal and we are the messed up ones.

I am glad that I saw Julius. I am excited that he is doing awesome and happy that he continues to break barriers. I have never once felt sorry for him and I never will. He is the man that many of us aspire to be. Cool, confident and radiantly wonderful – regardless of his body says completely a real man. Julius Mainor is awesome!

Celebrating Single

2006-09-18T18:16:00.000-04:00

I have so many things to blog about today but in the essence of trying to maintain continuity I will take my time and hit other topics on other days. By the way, I am an incurable fan of the most supreme John Coltrane. I write this blog as I listen to his classic, A Love Supreme. I must take a small journey on the “Trane” everyday. Just click the PLAY icon on the player above to take today’s journey with me. I hope to one day visit the ashram of his wife Alice in California. This man was so far ahead of his time.

Today is the beginning of National Singles Week! I am sure you ask, why be so excited? For me its cool. The celebration of being single!

Today I flipped through a list of celebrity “singles” and was shocked to find that Charlize Theron is actually listed. Now technically, she is single but has been in a committed relationship for over five years.

Maybe they should change the name of the holiday to National Unmarried and Unattached Persons Week. If you have someone in your life then you can’t be down. I’m serious, single means just that – by yourself and loving it.

As for me I know that whenever it is time for me to be in a stable committed relationship then I will be ready. Right now, I date me. I take myself to great restaurants, movies and of course trips. I go to see shows, take walks on the beach and do things with me. One friend told me that doing that wasn’t healthy but it does it’s do whilst I wait!

I don’t want to be like other friends I have had that are serial daters going from person to person never enjoying alone time. There is something to be said for really getting to know yourself all over again. It helps you to fall in love with your insecurities! That’s right, find what you consider to be your best feature and fall in love with that. Watch the difference it makes. Anyway, I also know that I will never be one of those individuals who are so jaded that they are suspicious of anyone that comes around showing genuine interest. So messed up inside until they chase the possibility away. Like my grandmother used to say, “How can I invite you in my house if it’s dirty inside?”

In essence, I love the me that I am. My daily evolution into being fuels my fire to always want and discover more. For now I am single but I envision myself as a committed father and husband ready to deliver A LOVE SUPREME to those in my life.

Notes from the Bottletree

2006-09-16T15:38:00.000-04:00

Addae Moon is amazing! This brother and playwright from Jacksonville has only been back to Jacksonville for a few years but he brings culture with him. His work Notes from the Bottle Tree is currently running so I had to make my way to see it.

Moon is currently an instructor of Creative Writing at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts.

To truly understand the play, you must understand a bottletree. A Bottle Tree is not grown it is created. In folklore, it is the southern tradition of hanging bottles by string all over a large tree. This was supposed to keep the evil spirits from coming into a home. It was a usual occurrence to see these “bottletrees” in the yards of many southern rural homes.

Moon took this reference and used the tree to rid two siblings of the evil that plagued their lives in the loss of a father. He wove family, friendships, harsh memories and relationships into a symphony of thoughtfulness. The photos by master photographer Billie Anderson, were also essential characters to the show. Each photo showed meaningfully beautiful glimpses of southern living.

I knew that some of the attendees in the audience were not ready for the subject matter but you could not help but to respect the presence of this masterpiece. The stars of the show were Stephen Anderson, Denise Nicole and my friend Al Letson. Al’s energy is always full of chaste power. I can’t wait to work with him one day. We always vow to work together but the stars just haven’t lined up yet. It’s coming.

After the play, I deiced to stop by THE CYPHER! My good friend since high school hosts a bi weekly cipher at her home. It is a bohemian set for artists to get together and share art thoughts and experiences. This was my first one and it was truly a wonderful way to end a great evening. There were poets, singers and just great times and she had a ROOM FULL of FOOD and best believe the girl can burn. Frijoles Negroes (Black Beans) and Rice, salad, baked chicken, fresh green beans – just the works! In fact Wylie’s birthday was that night and he celebrated there. I had not seen him in five or six years. He let us hear a few tracks from his soon to be released LP. The years have done him oh so well. His voice will be a welcome addition to the smooth R&B scene.

This day caused me to think a lot about the future and my place therein. I am in awe of the talent that surrounds us in this world. I can only hope to do justice to the gifts that God has given me. If you don’t use them, you loose them. So I must do more. I will. I will do more, starting now!

Cool Slideshows

Today

2006-09-15T19:28:00.000-04:00

The last few days have been eventful to say the least – travel and work have taken up most of the time.

This week I just signed the contract to officially co-star in a new film project. I am at a point in my life that I really am not into taking roles that don’t challenge me. I think that it is important right now for me to take roles that speak to me. Sometimes people take roles just to work but I want to be much more than that. However, getting the role is not the interesting part.

Several months ago while I was at the American Black Film Festival down in Miami for the Actors Boot Camp(click HERE to see the blog), I met some really cool people who ended up being like family. In fact there were a few who decided to do our own thing after class for a more intense session. One of those people was Diva K. Diva K is very kind, sweet and extremely talented. We exchanged numbers and managed to keep in contact since that time. Well it just so happened that Diva K and I happened to be talking and found out that we were cast for the same film. She and I work so well together. The only thing that we could say was look at GOD! There was a reason we met at the workshop and kept in touch. It was all a divine plan coming into fruition.

So after talking to my girl and saying that we couldn’t wait to work together, I knew that “it” was starting to happen. The future was unfolding.

So, I had to go hit up Target for a few things! I actually went for one thing and spent a few hundred dollars – don’t ask!

All in all today was cool, I’m rushing out to check out a friend and author, launch his new work. It is a play called Notes from the Bottlenut Tree. I’ll let you know how it goes.

When To Let Love Go

2006-09-14T02:09:00.000-04:00

Whitney Houston in Days Past

I never thought that I would see the day but it happened officially yesterday.

After fourteen years of wedded um er ah – “bliss”, Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston have called it quits. According to Whitney’s publicist they are legally separated which will lead to an October divorce.

We have all seen how Whitney has loved her man through jail stays, extramarital affairs, drug binges and just extreme craziness. The Whit has been a trooper and she has always been there for her man. I am sure that as she prepares to emerge and reclaim her superstar status, it is difficult to imagine life without Bobby.

Over and over again, you have seen her say that the love between her and Bobby was forever. She is right love is truly forever but you have to know when to say when.

This begs the question, when is the right time to let go?

In relationships it is pretty easy to think that love is the only thing that you need and everything else will just fall into place. But in reality sometimes we love so hard that we miss the fact that the love is destroying us.

I remember a time when I hung like four flat tires with a best friend. Frequent meals, trips and daily conversations made me know that this was truly my brother. As time progressed, I noticed that when he was in need I was always there but when I needed he was busy or nowhere to be found. Being a loyal friend, I chalked it up to conincidence. Then things started adding up and I had to distance myself from my boy. Now although, I love him – it was an unhealthy friendship and I had to back away. Interestingly enough when I backed away and revaluated my life, shortly things began to change. Opportunities presented themselves and I was able to reach higher heights and move beyond being stagnant. Although, I still care for my friend – I learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes people are placed in your life or you in theirs for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Once you discover the purpose or time, then you can truly be productive.

I can’t wait to see what Whitney comes up with. I am sure all of her joy, pain and hope will be put in her next CD. I know that right now she is hurt but she has started the healing process by shedding the old and embracing the possibilities of what is to come. We may have laughed at Whitney and wondered what she was thinking through some of her antics but I know God had a reason for allowing her to experience what she has been through.

There is no magic time to know when to let love go but one line in the movie love jones sums it all up for me. “When people say that they have fallen out of love, it’s not that they have but that they have exhausted all of the possibilities”.

Well here’s to NEVER exhausting ALL of the possibilities and knowing when to bow out with dignity. Here’s to real love. . . loving yourself first!

We Remember

2006-09-11T22:02:00.000-04:00

It is hard to believe that it has been five years since the attacks on September 11, 2001. I can remember all that went on like it was yesterday. Like most people around the world I was glued to my television screen wondering what was next. I knew full well that no matter what happened the world would never be the same again.

As I sat there watching, I knew the images would remain with me forever. The most haunting were the people jumping from the World Trade Center towers in New York. I watched them and wondered what was going through their minds as they jumped. Then the ultimate question came to me. What do you do when you are faced with death and death?

I thought about it. I pondered it. I mulled it. Then I had to write about it. I remember sitting there in front of my computer determined to get “this thing” out of me by writing it down. At that point, I don’t remember much more. Literally, I sat in front of my computer for about an hour and a half and just cried. I cried and wrote and wrote and cried. When I came to my senses, I had composed an epicesque poem – Journey Toward Peace. I would share it here but it is more of a performance piece (I am working on a short film based on the character).

When I actually was able to compose myself and read the work, I knew that I had not written this thing. I knew that God had allowed one of the people that made that journey toward peace to speak through me. It was a story that needed to be told and it was from a perspective that provided a unique vantage.

I remember that day. It was obviously a chance for me to leave reality and allow myself to be used as a vessel.

Completing this film project, I hope will bring some closure and healing for those that were personally affected. It could have easily been any of us there in those places. Still today we never know what the future holds.

We remember those that made the journey. With love, we remember. . . .

Decision 2006

2006-09-09T03:38:00.000-04:00

Recently the Gubernatorial Primaries occurred in Florida this week and that has really been the talk of the area. Being that I am a journalist and former elected official, I have to be a pundit and give my take on some of the elections that took place.

First, the race for governor. George W. Bush’s little brother Jeb is currently the Governor of Florida and due to term limits this is his last term. Now he has public ally said that he will not be running to succeed his brother in the White House. So a part of his legacy as the only Republican Governor of the state to be re-elected since Reconstruction, he wants to make sure that he is picking the successor to his office.

The Republican side saw four candidates. The two main candidates were actually both elected members of the current Governor’s Cabinet. Tom Gallagher, the state Chief Financial Officer and Charlie Crist, the State Attorney General. The latter candidate was endorsed by the governor and touted his experience as the reason that voters should choose him. Florida voters decisively chose Crist as the Republican Nominee with a whopping sixty-four percent of the vote. The campaign went pretty much as expected with not much dirt being dished by either candidate.

The Democratic side was much less of a high profile race than the 2002 campaign but interesting nevertheless. Current U.S. House Member Jim Davis was up against State Senator Rod Smith. This was the best match up due to the fact that both candidates had experience and were pretty well funded. Jim Davis having served on the National level was a bit more polished than Rod Smith and came with the help of high name recognition in South Florida. Davis also had the luxury of being endorsed by most Florida Congressional Delegation members. Smith however, brought the North and Central Florida to the table and was able to boast of having most of the state legislature on his side. Up until the last days of the election Davis constantly held a double digit lead. But that’s where it got interesting. In the last 10 days of the election the Smith camp rallied forward in the polls and closed the lead to within 6 points. It was like they (the Smith Campaign) were rabid dogs. They truly made it happen. Although Jim Davis took the Democratic Nomination, he had forty-seven percent of the vote to Rod Smith’s forty-one percent. Smith’s group really pulled the votes out of thin air. They get the award for best campaign during the election.

Now Jim Davis and Charlie Crist have already begun taking shots at each other in preparation for the November primary. Florida has been leaning heavily Republican lately so Charlie Crist is favored to win. However, hard work from Rhea Chiles (the widow of former Governor Lawton Chiles), former Governor Buddy McKay, former Governor and Senator Bob Graham and current U.S. Senator Bill Nelson give Davis a fighting chance. This is sure to be a great race. Although my eye is on the Connecticut General Election which it seems like Joe Lieberman is favored to win.

The other interesting race in Florida was for Florida House District 15. That was the election I lost four years ago. Audrey Gibson was the incumbent and Reggie Fullwood was a quazi-incumbent as a sitting member of City Council. The race was pretty dirty. Signs saying no to Fullwood, him attacking her record and her attacking him on his campaign contributions were all par for the course on this one. Even another member of council got involved and opposed her best friend and area Congressional Representative. At the end of the day, I was glad that my race never got that ugly.

It’s sad that when we (African-Americans) run against each other we can’t keep it to the issues. We get dirty, personal and just mean. We loose life long friendships and when we can’t find the dirt that we need we just lie. I remember during my election one of the candidates had it out that I had a kid out of wedlock and that I was behind on child support. Of course I have no kids but just to come up with something so far fetched shows the levels we’ll stoop to for our purposes. Politics is a dirty game and maybe I’ll get involved again but we have to make sure that it is not so nasty where people stop wanting to seek elected office.

Finally what shocked me the most about the election is the fact that so many people did not vote. There was only a fifteen percent voter turnout. Even though, I made sure that my staff and six other people got to the polls, I spoke to with at least ten other people the next day who said that forgot to vote. These were intelligent well educated people. In fact one friend who is in college said, “Well no one came on campus to tell us about the election”.

The one of the few rights that we have that cannot be compromised in this country is the right to vote. After the election of 2000, I cannot see how anyone would take voting for granted. I mean we had thousands of votes that were not counted and the will of the majority of the people was usurped. We have to bond together to say, regardless of what the outcome is our voice will be heard and we will vote. If we don’t then the sacrifices that our ancestors made would truly be in vain.

MUSINGS

2006-09-07T21:34:00.000-04:00

A lot of work and thoughts means there is so much to write about but that takes time.

Today it rained really bad all day. The weather was awful but the thing that was the most interesting was that there was a tornado watch in the area becuase people thought that they saw a funnel cloud. Now even though it turned out to be a water spout, people left cars took cover and some even professed to see the "tornado coming".

So it proves the point that in the eyes of the beholder -- perception is reality!

Enjoy the musing . . . .

MUSINGS

Staying positive reigns supreme above all the indiscretions in life.
Regardless of the past, promises of the unknown future make living all the more bearable
Honoring the existence of past demons that once controlled me,
Through the mantra that banishes them from my current existence is enough for salvation.
Is it really my thoughts that save me or my actions that sustain me?
I have the answers but the questions eternal evade my grasp, for alliance with the answers means that the search ends.
Then, what has really been accomplished?
So, I’ll continue to allow my existential freedom to manifest as thought.
Always searching for the path to fulfill my intellectual desires.
And to inspire my MUSINGS . . .

SOULSPIRATION

2006-09-07T10:41:00.000-04:00

Again time is flying by so quickly but you know what I am blessed to have it fly by on this plane.

First, Soulspiration was mad hot. I have been meaning to post the pictures for some time so here they are. Soulspiration is a quarterly event that serves to inspire the soul. It is an event that includes live bands, poetry neo-soul a fashion show and just positive vibes. It is the brainchild of Jason Pearson and I was glad to have helped host the event.

Networking, great drinks and good food added some fire to the furnace.

You can see from the pictures, some of everyone was there. One of my boyz even was creating some performance visual art during the evening. There were vibes galore. Shouts out to Mr. Al Pete, Bella, Cherub S., Mincey, Jen, Ari, The Cool Crew, PeDro, Prada, D. White, The Twinz, Javan (Man you can make some clothes), Lady G, Tonya Smart, Rayn, Maylee, The House of Zodiac and everybody who came out to make the event hottt! Thanks to club Endo Exo for giving up the venue and Rook you are the man.

And let me tell about a wonderfully random experience last week. I was set and hype to attend a poetry reading and cipher set in 5 Points. All of the hot poets were supposed to be there and I got a bug in my butt to spit that night. Plus Tonya Smart is mad fine and I would get a chance to see her. So I get to the Whalebone Grill and I am told that it was a mistake since this was the fifth Wednesday – so there would be no session. Well something convinced me to hang around for a while and being the eclectic area that Five Points is I was directed to the small park just across the street. I was told that all the poets had gathered there and decided to spit out doors in front of the water fall.

I hurried over giddy with excitement and was pleasantly surprised and satisfied. They were there doing their thing outdoors in the dark and bringing some serious fire! I ran in to my girl Nubia while I was there and bought Mr. Al Pete’s Mix CD. I am so proud of him, I remember him from the band in High School.

This is what life is supposed to be about. Good times, positive vibes, good people and great experiences. It makes the expectations of the future bearable.

Just Thoughts on LOVE

2006-09-01T19:53:00.000-04:00

I wish that I could have stayed out there at the beach forever but it started to get dark and right at dusk on the beach but the night bugs started to come out. I had I been thinking I would have brought the citronella. Oh, well as you can see from the pictures, I enjoyed it for what it was.

The day has been pretty uneventful but nevertheless filled with thoughts.

How do you know when you have found the ONE? That really keeps popping up in my head. Granted I am all about expanding the horizon of possibilities, I wonder if I will ever know. Even deeper than that, I know without a shadow of a doubt -- that the answer to this question today, will not be the truth that holds for tomorrow.

See right now more than anything, I know that who ever I choose to be with has to choose me as well for us to be equally yoked. Even better than that, can I deal with waking up every morning looking over and regardless of what – still feeling love? See what many miss out on is that caring friendships are more important to employ before emotional relationships. That means that if something ever happens to the romantic part of the relationship there is still something to sustain the two of you. Often when dating, I have a litmus test that I use to help with knowing a person. I ask, “Were you in love with the person in your last relationship”? Then the follow up is, “Do you still love that person”? Now the answers are where it gets interesting. If the response is, “I was in love but I don’t love him anymore”, it sends up a red flag. Love is an emotion that doesn’t end with the demise of an erotic relationship. If you once love someone truly, you will love them forever. Does this mean that you’ll be in love forever? Of course not!

I think that if more people could wrap their minds around the true meaning and concept of love relationships on the most part would avoid the perils that they face. One day I’ma put you down on my definition of the word but that is an entire blog unto itself. This is one of several poems I wrote while hanging out on the shore. What you think?

Untitled

As I walk on sacred sand
Pieces of a dreams make their way between my toes
Creatures scurry about for food and fun, there is a purpose for all.
Each empty vessel that litters the shore has a story to tell
I will be the scribe to pull forth the nuances of separation
In foresight, now is then so past meets future in a continuum of theory
An Amuse Bouche of words before awaken the palate
Flavor Supreme!

Amazing You

2006-08-31T18:29:00.000-04:00

Just taking a quick minute to post. It has been a few days and I have some photos that need to go up but give me a sec.

I just finished doing a shoot today that was supposed to last for a few days but we were able to knock out everything today. So I am taking the much needed time away to chill.

In fact right now, I am relaxing at beautiful Ponte Vedra Beach - and posting. Ain't technology grand!? I know that I will have some hot poetry when I leave here. You know Hurricane Ernesto just passed this way so it is really calm and beautiful out. You never know though -- the next big storm maybe just around the corner.

I back with more later but for now -- let me reminisce on Amazing You . . .

Light . . .

amazing you
for you

you
don’t understand how you amaze me
but your musings are frought with mediocrity and you just don’t want to grow
the complexity of loving your spirit and loathing your drive delivers me to hysteria
we converse for hours
and you excite the power within
but content with being who you are and where you stand
you remain steadfast.
for me – my drive propels me into making possibility from the impossible
i can’t be content with the mundane
striving for the best, i will be the best
and when the paradigm shifts, i will evolve.
but stoically you hold steadfast to your convictions.
you want only enough to sustain you for the moment
and what life serves, you eat
sans herb or spice
neglecting to see the possibility of today’s action on tomorrows result
even though what you seek is not my path, you amaze me
i’ve tried to break free of your hold thinking your ways would rub off on me
but from what i can see, you are who you are and i must be me
in the midst we meet and music is created
in cleft defying chords, sharps and flats combine in beauty
i don’t understand you
won’t try to change you
you – the one who amazes me!

No Luck For LeToya Luckett

2006-08-26T14:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, the days have been flying by like crazy. I made a commitment to blog everyday but the days go so quickly and so much happens that it is hard to get to it sometimes but I am doing my best. I’ma be on it like Kryptonite.

Well besides being an actor, I am a marketing and promotions consultant. You know as well as I do that movies and gigs don’t just “happen” everyday. So in between time I gotta keep food on the table. I am usually throwing different parties for corporate clients so you will see some of the events from time to time.

Today started off very interesting as someone mistakenly placed my home phone number as the contact number for one of the events. After about the tenth phone call I knew that something was up. Come to find out that my number was posted on the internet and MySpace. Now hold it down and don’t go looking for the number on there! But anyway, I changed the voicemail and moved on. There was nothing that I could do.

Well this night was supposed to be all about Letoya Luckett. You remember her? She was the old member of Destiny’s Child that Beyonce’s father pretty much kicked out of the group. I was really rooting for her as the underdog until the show.

During the night the guys from H-Town stopped by to give some support for one of their homies from Houston. H-Town was the group on Luke Records back in the early 90’s that sang Knockin’ Boots and Emotions. If you remember, the group was G.I., Shazzam and Dino. Shazzam and Dino were the twins. About three years ago Dino and his girlfriend was killed in a car accident. The group however has continued on and is ready to hit the charts again. I must say that the fellaz were real personable and spent time with people all over the club. A true class act.

It’s a shame that I can’t say the same for LeToya. I mean first she sent out a couple of dancers that were at best OK. She then came out at about 12:30am and sang only two songs – TWO. Now maybe this was her agreement with the venue, so I was pretty cool about that part but here is where it starts to get interesting. First, she had about 10 people in her entourage. This includes body guards. Now granted the turn out at the venue was not that great but after her performance, she rushed out of the club as if she was Beyonce’ or someone. In fact she rushed out to her Limo Bus and wouldn’t get off to take pictures or autographs for anyone. Including ME and I was the one bringing the money there for the show. I was extremely disappointed with her and her performance to say the least.

I know that I would not be anywhere if someone wasn’t watching me perform. So after shows (when on stage) or if I see some one who stops me in on the street – it takes a quick moment to say hello or take a picture. Had it been me and I was trying to make my record jump, I would have spoken to every person in that club. Seriously. I mean because of the weather and everything the crowd was really small so it would have been nothing just to take a few minutes to mingle. Just those few minutes could have been the deciding factor. And believe me the LP is aright but the sales could use the help.

Nevertheless, I saw my boy Amp Webster from High School. He opened the show and later we hung out with a few J-ville hotties.

Lesson for today: Sometimes looks can be deceiving! Take that for what its worth.

From Life to Life

2006-08-24T03:26:00.000-04:00

Today was pretty eventful. I lot of running around and even more work. No calls from THE DIVA today which is very rare. I usually hear from her quite often to discuss the deals of the day.

I enjoyed a manicure and pedicure and proposed marriage to Lee Chong. Yea, I asked the lady that did my feet at the spa if she wanted to get married. The way that she was rubbing on my feet, it was obvious that she was in love with me. Whew – she did it for me. Oh yea, if anyone has a problem with brothers getting manicures and pedicures then that’s your problem. I have to make me feel the best that I can. Anyway, the day was pretty uneventful, just planning shopping and thinking. Some tight sales at Old Navy, a few thoughts of being a parent (another blog to come) and a few movie projects that are headed my way gave rise to all kind of emotions. But still the day was calm and peaceful.

Then it ended, I got a call from my aunt. She told me that one of our older cousins that I had called to check on but not heard from in a while had died. I know that my great-uncle lived in the same city as my relative, so I called to ask why he didn’t call to tell me. He apologized but that really got me to thinking even more. Will people really miss us when we are gone? Have we done all that we can for those that are here before they leave?

About a year ago my grandmother died. She was truly my best friend. Our relationship was very special. I’ll share a poem about her one day. Anyway, after she died I immediately went into business mode. Taking care of arrangements and making sure that she was properly laid to rest. All of my family kept trying to stop me and they all kept saying that they were waiting on me to break down but because I had done all that I could for her in life – death was nothing because we were both prepared.

Like anyone death hurts. They pain is deep but the realization that you have to move on must come quick or you end up stuck in a rut. I think that my boy No4Real has had that mystery figured out for some time. What I didn’t tell you was that my relative that died was preceded in death by his wife of 66 years only 90 days before. It is a testament to love but also to the fact that you must let them go (if you are strong enough) or you could follow.

I miss my two cousins. Though they were much older relatives, I always learned when I went around them. I tried to make sure that I did for them when they were up and about. I always stopped by when I was in the area. I did what I could so I don’t feel sad now. Only I look forward to all of us one day meeting again.

Tomorrow I am hosting a concert with former Destiny’s Child member Letoya Luckett. I will make sure to hit you with some pics. It is a Kartouche – this should be interesting.

The Return of John Legend

2006-08-22T20:59:00.000-04:00

Are we loving us some John Legend or what? He’s back and back with a vengeance. Only a few days ago, John Legend released his first single from his upcoming LP, this title track is called Save Room and it defiantly gives modern retro-activity. I had to immediately hit up I-Tunes for this new classic.

The lyrics are very forward and fresh but the music and sound gives reverence to the 1960’s sound of groups like the Monkeys or the Beatles. Though Andre 3000 took us there with Hey Ya a few years ago, Save Room uses move of a smooth laid back style to convey love. Even the touch of an organ/electric piano shows the masses that John Legend is here to stay.

My guilty pleasure when I find a track that I’m really feeling, is to play it over and over again until I know the lyrics. This is usually why friends don’t like to ride with me when I find a new song. It’s just my habit in tribute to great music. This is one of those tracks for me.

These powerful lyrics remind me to never give up on love and that personally, I have to save some room for the possibilities of what might exist. I won’t say that I have been entirely blocking out love but I have put other things into my life to take up the space. I guess that this means I can still keep doing what I feel but I have to save room for love because it comes along when you least expect it and often there is no time to prepare. I guess the most key line is that LOVE HURTS SOMETIME WHEN YOU DO IT RIGHT. Seriously, the entire song is full of great lines that make this joint hotter than fire.

Here check the lyrics for yourself. And yo, Save Room for the whole CD, I am sure that it will be a keeper.

(Click on the Play Icon Below to Hear Save Room by John Legend)

Save Room
Written and Composed by: John Legend

Say that you stay a little
Don't say bye bye tonight
Say you'll be mine
just a little of bit of love,

Is worth a moment of your time knocking on your door just a little
so cold outside tonight
let's get the fire burning
Oh I know, I keep it burning right

If you stay, won't you stay - stay
save room for my love
save room for a moment to be with me
save room for my love save a little save a little for me
won't you save a little
save a little for me - ohh

This just might hurt a little
love hurts sometimes when you do it right
Don't be afraid of a little bit of pain pleasure is on the other side
Let down your guard just a little
I’ll keep you safe in these arms of mine
Hold on to me - pretty baby
You will see I can be all you need

If you stay, won't you stay - stay save room for my love
save room for a moment to be with me
save room for my love save a little save a little for me
won't you save a little
save a little for me - ohh

[pa-ya-pa-pa] - [pa-ya-pa-pa] - [pa-ya-pa-pa] - [da-da-da]

Ohhh come on Make time to live a little
don't let this moment slip by tonight
you never know what you are missing until you try
I keep you satisfiedif you stay, won't you stay - stay save room for my love

save room for a moment to be with me
save room for my love save a little save a little for me
won't you save a little
save a little for me - ohh save room for love
save room for a moment to be with me
save a little, save a little for mewon't you save a little
save a little for me

To Respect or To Fear

2006-08-21T15:28:00.000-04:00

This weekend was really laid back. Not a great deal going on. Dinner with friends at P.F. Chang’s turned up being eventful. The wait was awful but we ended up getting a great table outside on the patio. I am usually a purist when it comes to drinks – but the raspberry mojito that the waiter suggested wasn’t bad. My girl Diva – the label mate of the bunch—hit us with vintage Prada and Big J rounded out the evening. Diva has this uncanny ability to make you spend money without even thinking about it until long afterward. This outing was supposed to be just dinner but I ended up doing some shopping thanks to THE DIVA. I picked up a moderately expensive belt that I really didn’t need. But like Diva said – “don’t you just feel better”. I did – for the moment.

It was my usual at P.F.’s. Kung Pao Chicken with Lo Mein. She had the Orange Peel Shrimp. I am still trying to figure out what Big J had (I’m not sure that he even knew). Dinner was great and ended with a brief walk around and a stop for take home treats from the Cheesecake Factory.

It was such an eventful urban evening that it didn’t even feel like we were in Jacksonville. Who knew?

Sunday, I attended a quaint little church service with my cousin. It was a special program sponsored by one of her co-workers. Jazzy E (My Cousin – we mad tight) was looking like the style maven that she is as usual and I was happy that she invited me. The message came from two ministers and centered around the theme of being suitably connected. The message really spoke to me. Often we have a “hook-up” with our friends, relatives and co-workers but can we really get to a point where we are connected suitably. Then comes the major question – are we suitably connected to GOD? It’s like he is there for us but are we ready to receive what he has to offer.

Sunday evening I spent some time catching up on correspondence at the office returning emails and preparing for the week ahead. Afterward, I had dinner (which was really breakfast) with a friend and that’s where things got interesting.

During dinner we had a discussion and one of the things that he said during our verbal spar was, “I am not going to be afraid of you like others are”. This blind sighted me because I thought that our conversation was pretty light. Of course our discussion became heated and then simmered but the statement made me think.

I work very hard to maintain my commitment to excellence. Some may call it perfectionism. Some may say that I am a workaholic but no matter what is called, I like to do what ever I choose with panache. My grandmother always used to tell me, “Baby what ever it is you do – make sure you have done it better than it has ever been done.” This advice has stuck with me all of my life and I know that my success is do in no small part to her teaching.

Nevertheless, it got me to wondering – Does what is perceived as respect sometimes equal fear? If so, why?

Seriously, I am sure that everyone knows that none should be feared but GOD. That is my belief. Truthfully, there is nothing that a mortal can do to me, take from me or give to me that adds that much validity to my life. If anyone had that power the only reason that it would exist is because I gave it to them. I choose to retain power for my life and therefore be the man that I am.

In thinking about it who would want to be feared? If people were so afraid of you they may not be willing to tell you something that would help out or even something simple like you have a piece of toilet paper hanging off of your shoe. You would have no friends and those people who did hang around would only be there for what they could get out of you. Anyone who has been a leader knows that fear is not the way to rule because you will be constantly afraid of losing your position. Respect and admiration are positive emotions that inspire love and loyalty.

In the end, I guess that confidence could be misconstrued as power – thus evoking fear. Even though perception is reality, it is the internal issues of others that make them think that you have any power over them.

So as I think of it – man up, that’s your problem – not mine!

NEED

2006-08-20T13:29:00.000-04:00

I needed you to need me for just a moment
Needy as could be the need to be needed was overwhelming
I needed to know that I was cool being at the place where I was
And that validation could only come from you

Like walking through bramble thickets with no shoes,
The need scarred me
The need scared me
The need consumed me --
The need to be needed

Those places that warranted frequent visits
Evoked chastity in my soul
I had to keep me from thee
But the greed of need and the feeling it brought
Turned my imagination, into possibility
And my focus to tangibility
For then it became life

Like debating an adversary with no wits
The need abused me
The need abhorred me
The need contained me --
The need to be needed

Extended into oblivion I roamed the nuances of infatuation
Of my-self, of you, of the perceived need
Just the thought of being thought of
Makes the fond recollection of a warm feeling, my goal
I reach the image and extend my hand – sensing a need
Hand retracted mist coiling about – no need
No individual – no need

Like loving with all my heart and falling on a dagger
The need was there
The need was strong
The need had yet to be fulfilled --
The need to be needed

Chapelle's Show Is Back -- on DVD

2006-08-18T12:45:00.000-04:00

The weekend is almost here again and I really haven’t had time to recap last weekend. Who know where the time goes.

I was thinking about time the other day. Time is fleeting and moves like lightning – but this is only since I became an adult. When I was younger, time moved at a snails pace. I could not wait for Holidays to come around or my birthday or the time when I was supposed to hang out with my cousins. But it seems like now the days are all a blur and that things are moving so fast. It’s like I need to put a bridle on time.

Anyway, I purchased the Lost Episodes of Chapelle’s Show last weekend and as usual the antics of Dave Chappelle, Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings and his crew kept me in stitches. It’s just that this particular show held more meaning with all of the issues surrounding Dave Chapelle. This time the humor provided social commentary that was even more biting than usual.

The most interesting and best part of the show for me was the “Town Hall Meeting” that talked about the use of the ethnic pixies in his sketches.

I was amazed that a show like this would truly poll the audience and do what the show should be doing anyway – promoting dialogue.

I am glad that the sketches about the pixies were aired. In order for power to be removed from the word “nigger” or for stereotypes like Asians eating only rice to be put away, we have to take power away from these things. Quite often we allow people to have power over us for reasons that we can control. Take the power away and we take away their control.

I admit I laughed at all of the pixies. I laughed at the entire Chapelle’s Show. I laughed because it was good for the soul and it was good for me. I hope that with the state of things in the world we can continue to laugh and move forward to see the opportunities that exist when we all work together.

DJ Icey In Da Ville

2006-08-14T19:10:00.000-04:00

It has been a minute since I have blogged but I have some very interesting insights on life coming up so make sure to stop by later to see what’s up. I had the chance to host a party at Plush on Friday night. It's the place to be in Jacksonville.

The event featured DJ Icey one of the hottest Dance and Electronica DJ’s on the scene. Although, I am usually into more hip-hop and down tempo stuff – the boy was hot. Fresh off of his European Tour – he came with a vengeance. His beats were off the chain and as most DJ’s do his stuff was laced with hip-hop and R&B. Kanye was all over the mixes. I wondered -- was this guy working for ROC (as I flash the Dynasty Sign)!

Seriously though, he kept the crowd moving all night and almost 900 people came together in complete harmony. Like I said, it’s not MY music but I did my thing on the floor and the vibe was on point. Check the pics up top.

Although for the rest of the weekend, I chilled at home, things were not a bust – I downloaded some music and did the DVD thing. You gotta stay tuned for my insights on both The Lost Episodes of Chapelle’s Show and Noah’s Arc Season 1. I'm sure that we'll have a lot to discuss.

Until then . . .

The Monarch

2006-08-08T21:19:00.000-04:00

Check me in the center. I was the Pharoah Seti I for the Kuumab African Arts and Culture Festival. It was a chance to have some fun and share some history. The costumes were designed by Padrica Mendez.

Perception Changes With Age

2006-08-08T14:21:00.000-04:00

I was recently in Atlanta for the National Urban League Conference. I have to bring you up to speed on the happenings of the ATL but for now let’s just visit the conference.

First getting there was a chore. A flight coming in was late and I could not get a decent flight to Atlanta. So I had to end up driving I-75 to get there.

On my way there I was stopped at about 2am by a State Trooper for speeding. Now I know I wasn’t speeding because I was listening to talk radio on XM. Who speeds and listens to the latest World News. Nevertheless, when the officer invited me to exit the vehicle to check the legitimacy of his radar – I politely declined. I was in Southern Georgia in the middle of the night and I was not about to be wandering around on the side of the road in the dark contesting a ticket. No thank you. I gladly accepted the citation and quietly resolved to fight it later.

I was excited about going to Atlanta for the Urban League conference. It had been such a long time since I had attended the conference.

Most of the success that I have enjoyed has been attributed in a better part by the Urban League movement. In fact, I was the first National Chair of the National Urban League Youth Summit. The Urban League had helped to cultivate young minds and expose the possibilities that opportunity provides. I stepped gladly into the door. I met a great deal of friends that first conference. It was NYC 1990. The first official conference was held on the next year on the campus of Spellman College – yes in Atlanta. So it was quite fitting after such a long absence from my Urban League roots to be back in Atlanta where it all began.

Walking into the World Congress Center at the event that “raised me”, was like a kid coming home for the family reunion. I was home. The moment I walked into the door I saw people I knew. Some were past youth conferees like Jesse Stephens from Orlando or others like Renita Carter and Rose Jefferson- Frazer from the National Staff. Seeing them made me recall some of the others who had helped me but moved forward to other careers like former CEO John Jacob, Gasby Greely, Milton Little and Mildred Love who were once Vice-Presidents and even Anne Hill and Gina Davis- Watkins. I had my experiences with them all and even though the names may not ring with familiarity – they are names that inspire nostalgia from my youth.

As I looked around, the thing that struck me the most was that the conference seemed so small. The Youth Summit was only about 350 strong and I could walk easily through out the halls of the conference. I thought to myself that maybe all of the people were in workshops but I was sadly mistaken. I entered the exhibit hall to see maybe a hundred companies there instead of the hundreds I usually saw. Even the career fair that was notorious for brining in top executives from around the country and hiring candidates on the spot was weak. They were directing job candidates to websites.

Finally the straw that broke the camels back was when I had intimate conversations with friends and found out the some of the Urban League affiliates from around the country had closed or were on the verge of closing. To say the least I was mortified. Could the mammoth that was the Urban League be in decline?

Then I thought, maybe it is not the organization – maybe it was me. Sure some of the affiliates were closing and the conference in someway seemed smaller – but was what I saw the true picture of reality?

The more I thought about it I realized that truly perception changes with age. The elementary school that in kindergarten seems so massive was actually a very small place. Relatives that seemed to be tall had somehow shrunk. They were now my height. What seemed like a great deal of money to me at one time was now mediocre. See all of these things were the same – it is just my perception of them that made it different. The experiences that had shaped my beliefs and values had also helped to morph my perception.

It meant I was simply getting older.

I still cherish the Urban League and its mission. I am a financial and equity contributor to its projects. I know that I have been touched in no small way by the organization. From speaking to small groups of people to delivering a keynote address to thousands – I thank God for the opportunities that the Urban League has given to me.

Nevertheless, I see it as it was and as it is and I choose to remember the “glory days” of the Urban League. It is now my responsibility to do my best to restore the Urban League and its mission to the place where it belongs.

A Walk on the Art Side

2006-08-03T09:54:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a chance to check out Art Walk Jacksonville. It was much more than I expected.

Art Walk is quite an interesting experience and it helps bring people to Downtown Jacksonville. It was an area that had sorely been neglected but the renaissance that it has experienced is amazing. Art Walk happens the first Wednesday of every month and invites many visual and performing artists to show off their work in many lofts and office buildings in the downtown area. If you haven’t been or are ever in the area – it is a free event that feels very SoHo.

The Walk sponsored by Downtown Vision, Inc., features thirty-four venues of makeshift galleries, performances, food and spirits. The best part about it --it's all free!

My journey did not start at the first stop on the map but at JMOMA (The Jacksonville Museum of Modern Art). I recently joined the museum and hadn't had the time to really check out the spot. I was glad I did. Although the first two floors had some interesting pieces, it was the third floor that took my breath away.

Radcliffe Bailey is a musician, artist and professor living in Atlanta, GA and his exhibitions at JMOMA were passionate expressions of feeling and insight. I appreciated his art, especially one featuring Afro-Beat Legend Fela but the thing that took my breath away was his mixed media piece STORM AT SEA. This installation was a wooden installation that was so dynamic that as I stood looking at this masterpiece the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. The exhibit was a depiction of the Middle Passage (Africans journey to America via slave ships) one of the ships and its arrival in the “New World” which housed an elevated African Icon. The most poignant aspect was a blank page set for sheet music sitting unassumingly at the end of the work. The page said simply, “Long Live the UNIA”. I was in awe. This man is so far beyond his time. I can’t wait to meet him. Genius. I stood their looking for quite some time watching the confused masses meander by confused. I wonder if they had any idea what they had witnessed. Probably not.

I continued from spot to spot around to the other galleries and “art spaces” downtown. I say art spaces in that some of the buildings that are under construction allowed their spaces to be used for exhibition. This eclectic funky mix gave the evening ambiance. In one spot there was a mat, a crew of break dancers and a DJ that performed gravity defying stunts to some break beat, electronic and dance music.

I even saw the organizer of the Art Walk and one of my former co-workers Karen Barnes at one of the spots. Check her and a friend out in the photos. She has really found her niche bringing things like this to Jacksonville.

Now any one who knows me knows that I love great eclectic gourmet cuisine, which is why CHEW caught my eye. CHEW has not officially opened its doors yet one of the owners, Jason Parry, graciously gave me a tour of the spot and I am waiting with baited breath for the Grand Opening. My sneak preview of the menu proves that this is sure to be a new Downtown Hotspot. All of the specialties are cured and created in house and they are slated to offer “eclectic elegance on the go”! I can’t wait.

While there I also ran into one of the coolest cats on Earth – Shelton Hull. Shelton and I used to hang out in High School and even then his mind was on another level. This guy started Section 8 – an arts and entertainment magazine and currently writes a column in Folio Weekly Magazine called Money Jungle. Check him out.

After several uneventful stops and meeting some cool people just walking on the street. I ended up at Boomtown Theatre to check out the sing along. Great food, good wine and an interesting stage show. You can thank co-owners Stephen Dare and John Allen for giving Jacksonville something unlike what you will find anywhere in the world.

I know from all theses experiences, this really doesn’t sound like Jacksonville but it was.

All of these experiences. These are Jacksonville. These things coupled with low rates of minority-owned businesses. Having the highest murder rate in Florida. High instances of HIV/AIDS in the minority community. Low high school graduation rates and an increasing disparity between haves and have-nots. All of these things are Jacksonville and in essence it is a microcosm of the world.

I choose to take those wonderful experiences and use them as fuel to make a difference. Even now as the high school that I attended struggles with administrative issues and charting a truly uncertain future (I’ll address that later), I know that the little I can do here will make a global impact if only I do my small part.

As an actor, I love art. I am, in the basic sense of the word, an artist. My art does not define me – it completes me. Does this mean that I have the responsibility to make the world a better place? Of course. A place more feasible to share my art.

The Actor's Boot Camp with Bill Duke

2006-08-01T11:46:00.000-04:00

Several weeks ago I had the chance to attend the American Black Film Festival in Miami Beach, Florida and in the least – it was a life changing experience.

Bill Duke was the creator and instructor and spent the three days of the Actor’s Boot Camp making sure that we knew what lay ahead. From his days on Broadway and Commando to being one of the most respected Actor/Director/Producers in the industry – Duke knows what it takes to survive and succeed the jungle that is Hollywood.

During the Boot Camp it was evident that Bill Duke was not only a great performer but an even greater humanitarian. Countless numbers of his former students came to the class to talk about their inspiration and experiences with him and the success they currently enjoyed. In fact on group of his former students came up with a short film about being molested that was one of the finalists in the HBO Short Film Competition. The film was amazing! The group however attributed all of their success to things that they had learned from Bill Duke’s workshop.

Some of those who stopped by included Lamman Rucker, Loretta Divine, John Singleton, Robert Townsend and Wendell Pierce. They talked about their work within the industry but was most impressive was the homage that they all paid to Bill Duke.

I know one key thing that he said that sticks with me was that “acting was like falling backward into darkness”. That is one of the most profound ways to describe this thing that we do. This was only one of the many great things that he said but it was that thing that sparked my fire and inspired me to create even more.

During the event what was most amazing were the amount of people that were there who possessed “like minds”. Each and every person there was in someway connected to the other. The connection was though passion, experience and most importantly drive. For me it was euphoric. How often do you get to spend time with people who have some of the same goals and ideas and who are willing to put in the work to bring those ideas to fruition. From Nici, Kel and Amber to Markell, Eddie and Kim (The Diva) these people were real. Although these names might not ring a bell of familiarity now – give it a year or two and you will know us all. That is just how powerful this experience was.

As I said before this experience not only helped me as an actor – but it was truly life changing. Most people feel as though this thing that we do as actors is simple but it is like life – constantly evolving. Many of the principles that I have learned in acting, I have also used in life and have become inherently more successful. Moreover, I have an even larger extended family that understands the complexity of what it is we do. Those ladies and gentlemen that sat with me in that room in Miami Beach became my brothers and sisters. They are now by family and when one of us succeeds – we are all successful.

It touched me so much that this poem just developed in my head. You can see from the poem what the experience was to me. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity that made me remember why I am an actor.

We Were There
(after the 2006 Bill Duke Actor’s Boot Camp at the ABFF)

Spending time by oceans shore
We were there
Coming from far and near
We were there
Open like sponges, ready for the knowledge we would receive . . .
We were there

Barely inside the new millennium at a time when all had returned to soul
The universe cried for artists, to bring joy and tell stories and pass tradition
There was technique to the work of the artists and so we had to learn
Most importantly we had to learn – to forget all that we’ve learned
Described like walking into nothingness and falling back with no fear
Described like reliance on our faith
Faith in HIM, faith in ourselves, faith in the process
We were there

Spending time by oceans shore
We were there
Coming from far and near
We were there
Open like sponges, ready for the knowledge we would receive . . .
We were there

A King of a man, a guide sent from high, was there
He was like a high priest of the art
Teaching the traditions of old, inspiring the creation of new
Taking impossible nothingness and creating possibility
He had paved the way for us to walk and now was showing us the path
Finally, we would be able to silence the cries of the universe and make her laugh!

We were there – allowing “them” to come down
There in the place where some of the great masters had been
There in the place where at one time we could perform but not sleep and eat
Preparing for greatness – we were there.

Invoking those gone before
I saw Dorothy Dandridge
Sammy Davis, Jr.
Stepin Fetchit
Hattie McDaniels
Woody Strode
Esther Rolle
Paul Robeson
At the place where he transitioned, even Ossie Davis was there – they were all there!

Sooner than later we will tell the stories and share the anecdotes of the time when we were there
Sooner than later giving credit to God and thanking him for sending us the man that led us on the path

Spending time by oceans shore
We were there
Coming from far and near
We were there
Open like sponges, ready for the knowledge we would receive . . .
I remember . . .we were there

Does It Really Matter

2006-07-28T17:31:00.000-04:00

O.K. – By definition, love is the kind of thing that throws you a sucker punch. No matter how prepared you think you are for what’s coming. Things come out of nowhere and sit right in front of you like here I am. Then, you have to figure out how to deal with the curve ball you’ve just been thrown. Ain’t it just grand!

As for me, I hadn’t quite given up on the prospect of being attached again. If I do say so myself, I am a pretty good catch. But that brings to mind the question, where are the ones to be caught? They couldn’t be found so I resigned myself to enjoying ME and falling in love with ME all over again. I know it might seem selfish just to deal with myself but more than selfish, I see it as safe. Seriously, dates with me mean – (1) I always know who I am going home with at the end of the night, (2) when I leave no one else has to be dropped off at home and (3) no bullshit! Granted that eating at the boutique bistro alone or checking out a movie by myself was a little disconcerting at first but given time, it worked.

But as life often throws, the curve ball comes.

Recently as I was enjoying ME, I took an invitation to join some good friends for dinner. At dinner, a quazi-ex (this doesn’t need defining) shows up to join us. Now, it was all good but there was immediate chemistry between the ex and I. That’s when the questions started. Am I just infatuated with this person? Do I just want sex? Is this for real? I mean they all come rushing back a mile a minute. After great conversation at dinner we spent part of the night talking alone. Nothing major happened. Maybe a kiss or two with plans for a date the next night.

The next night was great. The early dinner on the beach and movie hit the spot. It was cool to have some one to hang out with for a change. But why now and why an ex?

I guess in reality it was what it was, that which it was. This situation, much like life, could only happen one day at a time. No matter how much we try to figure out what is supposed to happen and who we are supposed to love (or like) that’s how the game is played. It’s a rule of thumb. From our vantage, love will always come from the wrong person at the wrong time. Truthfully, does life really give us things we want when we want them?

As for me, I don’t think I will end my rituals of my dinners and movies alone or my manicure and pedicure days or even my daydreaming about meeting that special specimen of perfection. That’s all the fun of being a unique individual. For now, I’ll take it for what it’s worth, enjoying sharing my ME time with someone else and taking this new found “friend” thing . . . one day at a time.

Remembering The Legends

2006-07-26T08:36:00.000-04:00

It was an amazingly definitive experience and I needed it in my life – so I bought the poem. At that moment it was an heirloom that I could pass along. I bought the Pearl Cleage poem We Speak Your Names that was composed for Oprah’s Legends Ball. I read it aloud. In just that moment I was back to that place watching Angela Bassett, Hallie Berry, Phylicia Rashad and a host of other “Young’uns” honor the Legends of History.

After watching Oprah’s Legends Ball on Television last month, I was motivated. Motivated about what I needed to do, motivated about the possibilities that existed and ready for the challenge. As I sat there and watched these wonderful, extraordinary African-American women receive their honors, I was shedding tears by the end of the show. I needed more. But my tears weren’t just tears of appreciation and joy for these women, some were tears of sadness.

I looked at the fact that Oprah honored these wonderful women and gave them their flowers while they could smell them. And then I looked at the fact that men never do anything remotely like this. We (black men) rarely appreciate each other, rarely emotionally support each other and in an effort to try to be the “man” we step on each other.

In that I looked back at all of the groundbreaking African-American men who were never really able to be honored before they left this earth. I think of the fact that had it not been for Thurgood Marshall and Adam Clayton Powell, I could have never been elected to public office. I think of the fact that had it not been for Ossie Davis, Sidney Portier, Harry Belafonte and Sammie Davis, Jr. I could have never graced the stage and screen. Had it not been for Jean-Michael Basquait and Gordon Parks would art be what it is? If not for Paul Robeson, could I really know that it was O.K. to do it all?

I could go on remembering those that made a difference and have passed on but the larger questions remains, how many went on before knowing how we really felt about them? I only wish that I had the resources to honor black men the way Oprah did black women at the Legends Ball.

Now although I don’t have the financial resources the least I could do was write MY poem to black men. I look forward to one day sharing it with the world. I look forward to honoring the black men that are here and remembering those that have passed on like they should be remembered.

For now I hope that black men will wake up and stop being so bull headed, respect our feelings and support and honor each other. That way we can truly honor those that paved the way before they leave the road. We can do more than speak their names. We can honor their existence.

2006-03-22T12:29:00.000-05:00

This is me

A Night of Jazz

2006-03-22T11:37:00.000-05:00

I am really enjoying this being blogger thing. Although this is only my second blog -- as a writer I feel as though I have been doing this forever. Maybe people will read and maybe not. But hopefully, this will bring the light to someone's life.

Last night was one of the most amazing nights. You know lately I find myself taking some time out to enjoy the most simple things in life. If more people took time away from their busy lives then simplicity would mean much more.

I went to the hottest "Speak-easy" in my city, a small spot called FUEL. It was actually selected as one of the best Exotic Coffee and Tea houses in Florida! I was able to order a cup of imported Chinese Jasmine Tea and just chill. Little did I know that I was in for a treat. It was also a night for a concert with the Mike Clark Organ Trio. For those who don't know, Mike Clark is the drummer for Herbie Hancock and the Headhunters. And for a true jazz lover -- it was the hotness!

Just those few moments at Fuel have reconfirmed my commitment that living in a place like Jacksonville is not all together bad. The cost of living is low, there is not a state income tax and if you search for it -- culture is there. I often contemplate moving permanently to Los Angeles or Chicago or New York and then I think would I be able to live there like I live here. After contemplation, I've decided traveling back and forth is fine with me.

While sitting there last night, I was truly inspired and have began several poems that I hope to share with you in the coming days. So be on the look out.

Until then . . .

Light and Peace!

R

". . . have a clear realization of the oneness of humantiy." - The Dalai Lama